Thursday, March 12, 2015

Church: we are overlooking the overlooked

Question: How many foster families thru DHR in Shelby County, AL are available and willing to take children with special needs? Just take a guess......

Answer: One. And it is me.

Church, that is a problem. A BIG BIG problem.

I know what you are already thinking...."foster care is hard enough I just don't think I could handle a child with special needs"...."this is just not what I am called to do"....."i have enough on my plate already"..... "these kids should go to someone with a medical background"....and on and on it goes.

Let me give you the facts. When a child with special needs comes in to foster care, their county DHR office searches their database and typically they find no where to place the child.....especially in the smaller counties. No one who has said "I desire to care for this type of child". The county will then contact private agencies like Lifeline and Alabama Baptist but they rarely have families that will take kids with special needs. Side note: if you are a private agency foster family you would have to specifically request to be contacted about children with special needs, otherwise you will never hear about them.

At this point DHR will send out a statewide email to all the counties in the State. This is the last ditch effort so to speak before the child ends up elsewhere. And by elsewhere I mean living in a hospital for their whole lives. Or a group home. Or a nursing home.

Zee was a statewide email baby. I won't even let myself imagine where he would be right now if I had said no.

So my challenge to the church is simple. We need more people to step up and care for these kids. They are right here under our noses and we can't ignore them. 

We can't simply sign up to be foster parents to the cute cuddly shiny new babies and toddlers and feel like we are doing all we can. Shouldn't we let God tell us which children he wants us to care for?

Just take a look at this "Child Desired" form. I imagine when most people fill this out, they are simply overwhelmed by the idea of bringing a child in to their home who will someday leave. And I imagine because of that reason alone, many families think they just couldn't handle a child with special needs. I get it. Trust me.

But my mind says...what if I had to measure up to a form to have God DESIRE ME. 

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
    and put their trust in Him.
Psalm 40:1-3

(This form has since been updated because a certain person got on the phone with the people who made the form and told them that is was ridiculous and offensive and they needed to change it. Halleluier. )

If you are in process to become a foster parent, please consider opening your heart to the least of these! If you are a seasoned foster parent, consider updating your child desired form!

I know. This is not for everyone. But it is for me, and I will continue to advocate for these kids....because THEY will bless YOU more than you can ever imagine.



1 comment:

  1. So happy to find your blog. I'm a married mother of 5, my next-to-youngest has Down Syndrome and my husband and I have made the decision to look into fostering/adopting with a preference towards a special needs child. I know many people think we are insane, sometimes I think I'm insane. But when I look at my kids (as shabbily as they may sometimes be dressed) I see a sweet, resourceful, loving group. And when I look at my five year old, I see God's perfection in her the same way I see it in my other four and I want to shout "How can society find her less than amazing! How can people reject babies like her to the point of terminating their pregnancies? Why would they be afraid to have a child just like her!" We are waiting until June to begin the classes due to a busy schedule, and sometimes I start to get cold feet and wonder just what we may be getting ourselves into- and every time I start to think "Maybe we should back off on this" I suddenly see an insane number of online articles about parents doing terrible things to their special needs children and it strengthens my resolve. My house is busy, my kids are active, my home is perpetually filled with kid stuff, matching shoes can NEVER be located, but the food is plentiful and we (usually) like each other and there is plenty of love to go around.