Thursday, September 10, 2015

Sex, drugs and middle school...and heart palpitations.

Yall. I am freaking out.

My oldest child just started 5th grade. This will be his last year before the middle school and then high school years start. I am not ready. Not ready!

"You better have 'the talk' with him before he starts middle school"
"Trust me if they haven't heard it already they sure will in middle school"
"Middle school is when the kids start experimenting with the drugs and drinking"

These are the things I hear and I tell you they are keeping me up at night and giving me heart palpitations. I am not equipped for this. Puberty? Not ready. Drugs? Sex? What?!?! No! My kids are sweet innocent babies. Just look at this picture of them sleeping! It is not time for this. It just can't be. No.

As I have been losing much sleep lately due to the debilitating fear of my kids growing up (xanax helps), I have started to develop some scenarios in my mind that could allow me to avoid the changes that are a comin'. I would love wisdom from those who have gone through this valley of the shadow of death (that's how it feels ok) before me:

Scenario #1: Exactly how much trouble would I get in to IF I just took my kids out of school after 5th grade and home schooled them? And by "home school" I mean just keep them at home and not do any of the school because I just can't. Seriously how long would it take for "the man" to realize I wasn't actually schooling my kids? And what would the jail time for that be? Like 3 months? Totally do-able if you ask me.

Scenario #2: How old do you have to be to go to trade school and can you take those classes on-line?

Scenario #3: Can we just skip all the "middle" grades and just start studying for the GED? I feel like there are online classes you can take for that like if you were in prison or something so I wouldn't have to teach them but maybe by the time the cops show up at my door they will have gotten their GED and I can be all like "haha too late".

Scenario #4: Work hard over the next year to have a law passed that would require all students from 6-12th grade to wear a body camera like the police do. Then if some little jerk tries to get my kid to try some crazy synthetic drug that looks just like candy I can pop up in that school like a spider monkey and handle it on the spot. 

As I have been going over all this in my mind, I begin to think to myself that maybe it won't really be that bad because I have really good kids. I do. People compliment them all the time on their manners and how sweet and kind they are and then the voice inside my heads gets all pitchy and starts to scream  "yeah that is what they will say when they get interviewed by Dateline because my kids have started a heroin factory or joined the mafia FOR THE LOVE!!!!"

Although I am leaning hard towards scenario #1 or #4 right now, I realize they are all flawed to some degree because no matter what I do, my kids are going to grow up. They are going to be faced with temptations and challenges and they are going to make mistakes. I just plain can't prevent that from happening. Dangit.

So what can I do?

-I can point them to Christ. Not a religion or a habit of simply going to church whenever the doors are opened, but a real relationship with the true and Living God. Real faith. A real love for Jesus and the Gospel. A desire to share that great Gospel with others.

-I can pray for God to guide and protect them....and trust that He will.

-I can try my best to SHOW them what it looks like to follow Jesus with my life. They are always a good example.

-I can spend as much time as possible with them, as long as they will allow it. I will let them sleep in my bed (because I can) for as long as they want to....because they won't always want to. I will cherish these years and make the memories. I can be intentional about being their mom but also about making sure we have lots of fun.

These two sweet kids have my heart in a big way and some days I just love them so much it hurts. Some days I want to lock them in a closet .....but that is neither here nor there.

Some days I wonder why on earth God saw fit to entrust these people to me, but I am so grateful that He did. I know one day I will stand before Him and answer for how I raised them....and that is a pretty big deal to me.

Tiny baby Jesus help me to raise these kids in such a way that I do not end up in jail and none of us end up on Dateline....or please just let them never grow up. Amen.

Anyone else having heart palpitations?