tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53070339947343682842024-03-16T22:10:16.979-07:00Learning to dance in the rainjennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-39187494862153710862024-01-01T16:28:00.000-08:002024-01-31T10:02:45.007-08:00I Quit Drinking (Why & How)<p><span style="font-size: xx-small;">This is my story. I recognize that this is not everyone's story. I am sharing this not as an expert but simply because it might help someone else. Don't come at me. </span></p><p>I was what many would describe as a "big drinker". I enjoyed it, or at least I thought I did and I encouraged others to drink. I convinced many Christian friends who previously thought that drinking was bad, that it wasn't and they should do it too. I often said that alcohol wasn't inherently bad it was just bad when people over or misused it. I would say "alcohol never did anything bad to anyone but some people do bad when they use alcohol". In fact I said those words the very morning of the day I decided to quit.</p><p>I'm not going to go in to great detail about my history with alcohol for a lot of reasons, but here are the broad strokes: I started drinking not because I liked it, or even because I liked how I felt when I did it, but only because I wasn't supposed to. It was a rebellion pure and simple. After that it simply became a habit and that is what it was for many years. I took pride in the fact that I could drink others "under the table". Alcohol became part of who I was. Along the way I made some mistakes certainly. I did some stupid things and I embarrassed myself and people I love. But in spite of it all I hung my hat on the idea that even though I had my bad moments I could always stop whenever I wanted, I just didn't want to. </p><p>Then came COVID. What was previously a crutch became a full blown motorized wheelchair that was carrying me though each day. Drinking became my reward for surviving. It is not an excuse but I was attempting to make it through COVID with one child who has major behavioral stuff and another child who has major medical stuff. I was truly terrified that Zee would get sick and die, or that I would have a nervous breakdown trying to deal with Jojo. Thank God I didn't know how long it would last when it began. </p><p>After COVID I knew that my habit had gotten out of hand. I wasn't drinking during the day, getting the shakes or anything else extreme but I began to realize the level of my dependence and I tried to cut back here and there. I knew drinking so much wasn't healthy and I even went to see my doctor to get blood work to make sure my liver wasn't about to turn to ash or fall out. She assured me that I wasn’t alone in my post COVID struggle, but when the results were fine I took that as permission to keep drinking. I was gaining weight and spending WAY too much money so I switched to vodka tonics to cut down on calories and cash and I limited myself to beer only on the weekends. I told myself that this was progress. </p><p>I heard about a booked called "The Easy Way To Control Alcohol" by Allen Carr (on Tik Tok of all places) and although it sounded too good to be true I was curious because I had never heard of it before. Our family has a great deal of experience with addiction so the idea that a book could be successful for someone but it wasn't on my radar was intriguing. I started listening to the audio book and made it about half way through before I realized it might just work for me. My views on alcohol were shifting, but I wasn't quite ready yet for that type of success, so I stopped listening for a while.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://a.co/d/7RbNhRy" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAruIdxA-N8z0OMocta-HeVTRWMB86DqXxraGCkVog2tRjVdJNKKmfETRHB_0Xvyu0MYgi_6VlaheIfq_U4TMxeDCEiZP7XVTm1j2aet0vu7TZB7uC59L8HzpPQTK3sjoJ_MzqouJH06WFOQtd3e1Rk1Onv2GiOq4flI2MarMQU2eqEr6yRmqTlDboaokF/w200-h200/51ThetAczWL.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>There wasn’t a catastrophic event that led me to stop. Honestly it was simply a misunderstanding as to whether or not I was drunk, but for me that was enough. I had gotten to a place where I was assumed to be drunk rather than sober and I guess that was my wake up call. So I finished the book the next day and poured out all the alcohol I had in the house. I was done. <p></p><p>There isn’t anything magical about the book. It simply offers a new perspective and it showed me the other side of <i><b>all</b></i> my excuses. These are some of my takeaways: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Alcohol is the only drug we have to explain why we DON’T use. That alone says a lot. </li><li>I think marketing by the companies who sell alcohol plays a major role.</li><li>You don’t have to be an alcoholic by definition to have an issue that you need to change.</li><li>If you do consider yourself to be an alcoholic (I don’t but that’s neither here nor there) maybe you don’t have to struggle anonymously each and every day to stay sober?</li></ul><p></p><p>I’m not going to lie and say it was the easiest thing I’ve ever done. There were days when I felt like I was losing a big part of who I was, but I realized eventually that I could do without that "part of me". Even so, I had a lot of doubt that I would be able to stick with it. Would I still be able to have fun at events with friends? How weird would it be to go out to a restaurant and not order a beer? How would I survive dealing with Jojo every day without my evening reward of alcohol? </p><div>This is the part of the book that I kept coming back to in my mind whenever I felt unsure or needed a reminder: </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818;">“Client: “Could you teach me to have an occasional drink and not get hooked again?” </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818;">Me: “Of course I could. I could even teach you to take the occasional dose of arsenic.” </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818;">Client: “Why on earth would I want you to do that?” </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818;">Me: “Exactly!”</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818;">― </span><span class="authorOrTitle" style="--tw-ring-color: rgb(59 130 246 / 0.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; background-color: white; color: #333333; font-weight: bold;">Allen Carr, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818;"></span><span id="quote_book_link_39027532" style="--tw-ring-color: rgb(59 130 246 / 0.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; background-color: white; color: #181818;"><a class="authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/12194" style="--tw-ring-color: rgb(59 130 246 / 0.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; color: #333333; font-weight: bold; text-decoration-line: none;">Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol</a></span></span></div><p>It has been more than three months since I stopped drinking and I can say with confidence that all the things I thought would be worse are better. I have lost about 15 pounds and I feel physically stronger. I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep but I sleep fine and I am way less sleepy during the day. Most importantly, I am a much better mom. All of the things I thought would be super hard were only a little hard and even that only lasted a few weeks. It sounds too good to be true, but it just isn’t. </p><p>I don’t know how these words sit with you but I imagine you are either thinking of your own problem or that of someone you care about. If you are thinking "my issues is _____, not alcohol" well he probably has an adaptation of his "Easy Way" book for that too but I can't vouch for any of those. My non expert advice is simply read the book or give it to the person who is on your mind. Maybe it won’t work for you or for them, but maybe it will, and if it does, well that changes everything. </p><p>Blessings and Happy New Year,</p><p>jennymo</p><p><a href="https://a.co/d/frcHGJm">(link to the book on Amazon)</a></p><p><br /></p>jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-39010190814848185502021-11-02T08:59:00.000-07:002021-11-02T08:59:02.069-07:00“I mean you chose this so….” 🤷🏼<p> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj55Oycah_cXvie-We0jf_ON1Xu-peJRZpO3gF1KjE0yyQCM9Wf6fAuwNgNO5xa0gE-R_JVMTIrh9pL2qE7A4r0kNAL_8kLZA7T7fafFG8bS_Go0SSjMWWsA642YbOyq_KGKPOSGEwaoLUp/s750/IMG_8771+%25282%2529.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="728" data-original-width="750" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj55Oycah_cXvie-We0jf_ON1Xu-peJRZpO3gF1KjE0yyQCM9Wf6fAuwNgNO5xa0gE-R_JVMTIrh9pL2qE7A4r0kNAL_8kLZA7T7fafFG8bS_Go0SSjMWWsA642YbOyq_KGKPOSGEwaoLUp/s320/IMG_8771+%25282%2529.PNG" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">*pic from Zee adoption day April 2016*<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Although
the words are rarely meant to inflict harm, the connotation is “you chose to
adopt these kids so you don’t get to complain”. Let me take it a step farther:
“you chose to adopt THESE kids (who have special needs) so you should have
known it would be hard when you made that decision so you don’t have any right
to complain”. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Yes,
I chose to adopt two boys who have special needs. Shockingly when I made the
choice to bring home a tiny 5 pound 4 ounce baby who had a prenatal diagnosis
of Down syndrome I wasn’t able to see in to the future and take in to
consideration that he would someday be an 8 year old little maniac child who
would drive me to the very end of my nerves every</span><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">👏🏼</span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> single </span><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">👏🏼</span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">day</span><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">👏🏼</span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. If my crystal ball had not
been broken, I could have prepared myself for the fact that he would one day be
the golden child of his elementary school who everyone fan girls over every
morning but an absolute terror who screams “NO!” at me constantly at home and
breaks into the neighbors houses to steal their toilet paper on the daily.
Would a glimpse into my future have changed my decision to give God my yes? No
……but it would have been cool to get a head start on therapy and adjusting my
meds </span><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">😉</span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
don’t feel like I chose Zee, I feel like he chose me, but that doesn’t change
the hard. Early on it was an ICU at home and a traveling ICU anywhere we went,
along with more doctors appointments and hospital stays than I care to
recollect. It was many agonizing hours wondering if he would even live much
less thrive. Now he’s more of a rascal than I ever thought he would be and
although searching for his gtube (because he takes it out and throws it
multiple times a day) as well as trying to keep him from being naked 24/7 is
quite a challenge, I would chose him and all of his stuff over again every
time. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Bio
parents don’t get their complaining cards revoked in the delivery room so why
do we insist on having adoptive parents turn theirs in at the proverbial
adoption door? I stay puzzled by this question. Maybe it has more to do with
social media than we would like to admit. Maybe we as adoptive parents glorify
our lives and our little bundles of adoptive blessings too much causing others
to think we are some sort of super heroes who have our acts so together that
nothing should ever be wrong in our perfectly picked out lives. I would venture
to say if that is even remotely the case, it is because we are truly blessed to
have these kids in our lives much more than they are “blessed to have us” and
we want to shout their worth to the rooftops of the world…..but we would also
like the reserve the right to still have it hard….and sometimes to have it
REALLY hard. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As
biological parents we don’t hold back from telling a friend or family member or
the whole damn world for that matter that raising kids is difficult because we
don’t have to worry that they will in turn be de-valued as humans……read that
one more time. But when it comes to adopted kids who also have special needs or
different abilities, their journey to us as their parents is literally born out
of the inability for their first families, or even their entire country of
birth, to see their value. These children, these image bearers, were first seen
as less than, or too much of a burden, or too much to handle, or not even
worthy of life by their people or even collectively by the places where they
were born. So, yes we feel the need to show the world that they are worth it,
BUT, when we show the worth and hide the hard, either out of guilt or
obligation or the world telling us we should, we do everyone a dangerous
disservice. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Today,
the adoption community across the US is rocked by a tragedy. I do not know the
family, I don’t know the circumstances, I don’t know the struggles they had,
and they may not even be adoption or special needs related, but this has been
on my mind and heart for sometime and this seemed like a good time to flesh it
out. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Parenting
is hard. Full stop. Let’s all give each other grace…no matter how our kids came
to join our families. Let’s make it ok to say out loud that it is hard. Let it
be ok for parents to need help no matter what. Let’s not take away the right to
have it hard from moms and dads who knowingly stepped into this life any more
than we would a biological family. Let’s do better. Together. </span><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">❤️</span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dear
mom or dad, if you are in the trenches, reach out for help. If you don’t find
it, please keep reaching until you do. We are here. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Blessings, </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">jennymo<br /><br /> <br /></span></p>
jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-54859106864857763932020-10-30T12:11:00.001-07:002020-10-30T12:14:31.643-07:00Jojo + Papa = BFF {by my dad for Down syndomre Awareness Month}<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwFO0WAP90qU6cE_mqJrDg8uU0lFVSLBRWNsQj3QQfl-soEUPH7dX8ODudKkma3s1F6qohee4wlD1iqnd6TFXiOw7zMWlzzXAzE3lJz9E7F24RypQ6xrqLH2XaWNJcv-prpNfAfs7rGeTB/s1080/56422359_10217928995124085_4097796621729792000_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwFO0WAP90qU6cE_mqJrDg8uU0lFVSLBRWNsQj3QQfl-soEUPH7dX8ODudKkma3s1F6qohee4wlD1iqnd6TFXiOw7zMWlzzXAzE3lJz9E7F24RypQ6xrqLH2XaWNJcv-prpNfAfs7rGeTB/w320-h320/56422359_10217928995124085_4097796621729792000_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0T3XbJBSmBWRLEcDyCNLb5rC8bOqq9KP4bJONp9C0VggU2HFtR8E-VmwUh9876tqtFoKpZLMO3_MVIgHuEXLIPQwkjAqLEgZPjWmy93krzaesAaivazp65XaF4DzJHaF4LiSWhoLs0xA-/s1080/18238520_10212099901960399_1876059029341627334_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0T3XbJBSmBWRLEcDyCNLb5rC8bOqq9KP4bJONp9C0VggU2HFtR8E-VmwUh9876tqtFoKpZLMO3_MVIgHuEXLIPQwkjAqLEgZPjWmy93krzaesAaivazp65XaF4DzJHaF4LiSWhoLs0xA-/w187-h187/18238520_10212099901960399_1876059029341627334_o.jpg" width="187" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCAf-2irCQfxRZMOXXHPVALjAFjhToREqnprPqBeGe9elqQq5UOYD1lOL-KnT7D-FJ8fSh3QEXhMRtmuD3tHSVkxq9G96blMeAB0Ul4GHthptyhii82IlaxxQ1NnkyJSNwS0v3o0EKf7jP/s1080/15493557_10210753796628607_5257973552295234149_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCAf-2irCQfxRZMOXXHPVALjAFjhToREqnprPqBeGe9elqQq5UOYD1lOL-KnT7D-FJ8fSh3QEXhMRtmuD3tHSVkxq9G96blMeAB0Ul4GHthptyhii82IlaxxQ1NnkyJSNwS0v3o0EKf7jP/w193-h193/15493557_10210753796628607_5257973552295234149_o.jpg" width="193" /></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtePuDk2J7lUrOZ___dIDL8j44SI0pOLmd4PJIFXdwC61N5_t0LB9VgeauSUkFCzmY31eJHodbGXRFbIIruQ0PVE_nMJN-d8QxkGJ0GiSFqyTcCMDV3tVa5yjjcw3NLSmIjTX4E-RPZ_HU/s1136/1074223_10151764060746410_1788616848_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1136" data-original-width="852" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtePuDk2J7lUrOZ___dIDL8j44SI0pOLmd4PJIFXdwC61N5_t0LB9VgeauSUkFCzmY31eJHodbGXRFbIIruQ0PVE_nMJN-d8QxkGJ0GiSFqyTcCMDV3tVa5yjjcw3NLSmIjTX4E-RPZ_HU/s320/1074223_10151764060746410_1788616848_o.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr-Jzo9BjXxPd27B1cQuqq_cmuQgM6lEVjlfIdmQ99EPXPpStJY_EHUC7j7IGUulZMAAwiLjwcUYhYIcXd2zeIrJTojoELfV9MBBjMsd-Rdg9D0p1QfY-Dz_Rfl4gzBagvMbwieWs534Zk/s612/969548_10201387152908368_1042710026_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="612" data-original-width="612" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr-Jzo9BjXxPd27B1cQuqq_cmuQgM6lEVjlfIdmQ99EPXPpStJY_EHUC7j7IGUulZMAAwiLjwcUYhYIcXd2zeIrJTojoELfV9MBBjMsd-Rdg9D0p1QfY-Dz_Rfl4gzBagvMbwieWs534Zk/w200-h200/969548_10201387152908368_1042710026_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">My first real association with child who had Down syndrome
was at the Sportsplex gym. A young, single mom with a son who was about 9 years
old named Cary came to the gym at the same time I did. I began to pay attention
to Cary and that’s all it took for him to be my friend. He would watch for me
at the gym and when he saw me, he would come running and take my hand as if it
were understood that “I’m with you”. A glance at the smile on the mom’s face
each time indicated approval and appreciation. Carey would follow me around in
the gym and “help” me with my workout and he was always sad when it was time to
leave. The only time I remember seeing Cary any place other than the gym was at
Walmart. When he saw me a from a significant distance across the room he yelled
at the top of his voice, ran to me, gave me a hug and took my hand as usual.
Even though we hadn’t spent a significant amount of time together, I was sure
that he was my friend…my buddy.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I knew for many years that my daughter Jenny wanted to adopt
someday, but when she came to my wife Emily and me and explained that God had
put it on her heart to adopt a child with Down syndrome, I was apprehensive. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had already spoken to Aidan and Ella Mae
and they were all in as was my wife, but I was concerned. Being in the financial
business, one of my main concerns was how she would support another child, especially
one with special needs. I was concerned for Aidan and Ella Mae as well because
Jenny is a single mom. Since we all lived together at the time, she was
determined to have us all “on board” before she moved forward in faith, but it
took a while, and a significant amount of stubbornness from Ella Mae (she gets
it honest from my sweet mama) to finally get my yes. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Emily and I were waiting at the airport when they brought
Josiah (Jojo) home. I didn’t know what to expect or what my role would be. I
even wondered if she would let me hold him. She walked through the airport
straight to me. She said “here” and handed me that precious baby. At that
moment, I knew that my life had changed—I knew that I was the Papa of someone
special—a different kind of special than my first two grandchildren. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Over the next five years or so, Jenny, with the help of my
wife, Emily, fostered twelve children. Most of them had special needs and/or
were medically fragile. I was blessed to be able to help a little. I got lots
of hugs in payment. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">One day she received a call from Children’s Hospital and was
asked to make a visit to consider fostering a baby with incredibly significant
medical challenges and he also had Down syndrome. He would require intense
medical care and medication for life. His mom could not take care of him. When Jenny
arrived at the hospital a team of doctors and nurses were waiting. They asked
Jenny if she would possibly, perhaps, maybe somehow consider fostering “Baby
Zee” who had spent all 7month of his life at the hospital. At that point, the
outlook for Baby Zee was very dim, with no one to take care of him and no good
options for a place to live where he could get essential medical care. Who, in
their right mind, would take on such a challenging commitment? Jenny and Emily,
with the mind of Christ, trained to care for him medically while he was in
foster care and eventually Jenny adopted him. The adoption judge said, “he is
your child as if he were born into your family”. That statement was correct.
Zee has a good place to live, is loved and well taken care of. He is just happy
to be alive every day.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioV0uQRGt9-tmXhL8VU2wPdj8ZAVAXibhlaLHOku6LaPs7c-E5eE9gysJbZxcNjybJCOgUbTgYC9nRP5F0MElVuewAHByulcIEVWfhthmXxVbuqS7IC_rsEE5ibdL3wmDnOmM9IWa6FbEd/s1080/13217173_10208844106687552_4973227515890328869_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioV0uQRGt9-tmXhL8VU2wPdj8ZAVAXibhlaLHOku6LaPs7c-E5eE9gysJbZxcNjybJCOgUbTgYC9nRP5F0MElVuewAHByulcIEVWfhthmXxVbuqS7IC_rsEE5ibdL3wmDnOmM9IWa6FbEd/s320/13217173_10208844106687552_4973227515890328869_o.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx3k3kmgbNpvPrvSlg4bPB0cFpxmx50Yp5B2zBNRhjEWs4H7QCl-oxQe1qgqYdsxHa3yvC3DCoywd3DI6h4uRF16LzJTI_Gd47BHyIf70XQID07EFbwmuBNku1DASzu9xlc4c89mB0X7Rr/s960/17424706_10211700941106627_9085571505368832531_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx3k3kmgbNpvPrvSlg4bPB0cFpxmx50Yp5B2zBNRhjEWs4H7QCl-oxQe1qgqYdsxHa3yvC3DCoywd3DI6h4uRF16LzJTI_Gd47BHyIf70XQID07EFbwmuBNku1DASzu9xlc4c89mB0X7Rr/s320/17424706_10211700941106627_9085571505368832531_n.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">God doesn’t make mistakes when babies are born with Down
syndrome. They are born into HIS family the same as everyone else. He created
them special…and He created others special to be ministers to care for them. “<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain
conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you
should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of
others.” Phil 2:3-4. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Jojo and Zee are indeed special to me and I love them very much. I
am so thankful to be their Papa and to have the opportunity to serve them. As
it turns out, Jojo is not only my grandchild, but we have also become best
friends. He is all mine on the weekends (to give Jenny a break) and we have the
best time together. Once Zee grows and heals some more I’m sure he will join us
on our adventures! I can’t imagine my life without these boys, and I am so thankful
that a little 6 year old Ella Mae didn’t give up until she got my “yes”. </span><span class="acopre">"For from </span><i><span face=""Calibri",sans-serif" style="mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">him and through him</span></i><span class="acopre"> and for </span><i><span face=""Calibri",sans-serif" style="mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">him</span></i><span class="acopre"> are </span><i><span face=""Calibri",sans-serif" style="mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">all things</span></i><span class="acopre">. To </span><i><span face=""Calibri",sans-serif" style="mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">him</span></i><span class="acopre"> be the glory forever! Amen." Romans 11:36</span>. </p><p class="MsoNormal">Papa <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZAXCLrUVKQKEcQC5ICSlghyyd2PqwtaesVo2mpMwacyI2YYBKZAlT6cKSBK-1dL4Gc0NGU6d-O3JNGJysUbZwQhgxWkhCgRqERJASrVFzRrE5KhhpUj-5FL0GnKXg1j7mqdqgHcWgU14Y/s640/10885547_10205053287759448_4890524900923466359_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZAXCLrUVKQKEcQC5ICSlghyyd2PqwtaesVo2mpMwacyI2YYBKZAlT6cKSBK-1dL4Gc0NGU6d-O3JNGJysUbZwQhgxWkhCgRqERJASrVFzRrE5KhhpUj-5FL0GnKXg1j7mqdqgHcWgU14Y/s320/10885547_10205053287759448_4890524900923466359_n.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX1Lz1CCHGQibK88UWnCRDgXWE0O6Q6jOMGWNIVc9ixVHNviFPTvcSYXvRilmJpu-ru3RPj5VFb_LsEkCrqbyFeUBtmU4vXuYJGoP6X4z9z_m1dm1tBqZtxAqWr7D2nUSwJWkO_9eMd_mR/s1080/12034337_10207289728349065_7735097278151069026_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX1Lz1CCHGQibK88UWnCRDgXWE0O6Q6jOMGWNIVc9ixVHNviFPTvcSYXvRilmJpu-ru3RPj5VFb_LsEkCrqbyFeUBtmU4vXuYJGoP6X4z9z_m1dm1tBqZtxAqWr7D2nUSwJWkO_9eMd_mR/s320/12034337_10207289728349065_7735097278151069026_o.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinABQFmUVqU__ex1fyGv6Lpw3DSt1bPPp-gKXnW7hfh6EPvuSpklJ2GpsAbDRfTCHwpZX5iGDdlbOHYbZHw8YjPlroPE_JYegVn6Q6JfB7IE6ovsqq-fi_zCJCO7E214rJmMlxgJg4ICfn/s1080/13220693_10208893847931052_8387425519804054439_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinABQFmUVqU__ex1fyGv6Lpw3DSt1bPPp-gKXnW7hfh6EPvuSpklJ2GpsAbDRfTCHwpZX5iGDdlbOHYbZHw8YjPlroPE_JYegVn6Q6JfB7IE6ovsqq-fi_zCJCO7E214rJmMlxgJg4ICfn/s320/13220693_10208893847931052_8387425519804054439_o.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmn8OyRprAKu19Q6PZNFSGYD3e6JVnhpPcwD-GAgDWIzWfj2CIrNN44y3nfMSVZHFxhrTzVATh37bNwcmzK-pw_SayAN22T-HEMx1dfQpkZ8L_ie7dJ_zKje4qk5nbGcNi2bGV7JWMJYCT/s1349/17504476_10211738376562490_4964853926194230713_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1349" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmn8OyRprAKu19Q6PZNFSGYD3e6JVnhpPcwD-GAgDWIzWfj2CIrNN44y3nfMSVZHFxhrTzVATh37bNwcmzK-pw_SayAN22T-HEMx1dfQpkZ8L_ie7dJ_zKje4qk5nbGcNi2bGV7JWMJYCT/s320/17504476_10211738376562490_4964853926194230713_o.jpg" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>
<p> </p>jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-21147265548706736332019-10-31T18:50:00.002-07:002019-10-31T19:26:08.386-07:00Down syndrome, drugs and depression and shame.On this last day of Down syndrome awareness month, I have something I need to share. Writing is like therapy for me, and I need to get this all out in to the open so I can hopefully begin to heal. So that we can all begin to heal. <br />
<br />
Jojo has been a hot mess since about age 2. At first, I just assumed he was very "spirited". Then I said "oh this is the terrible two's" and then "terrible three's". And when he was 4 and was still climbing on top of the table while trying to hang from the light fixture I just went with "hot mess". I assumed it was something he would grow out of as he got older.<br />
<br />
<br />
In January of 2019 when Jojo was five I was at an Endocrine appointment with all 3 of my boys. Jojo spent the entire visit either turning the light that is used to view x-rays off and on and off an on, or turning the room lights off and on, or literally trying (and a couple of time succeeding) to leave the room at lightning speed. Imagine trying to carry on a conversation with a doctor in that room! This is why most of my conversations when Jojo is around are either very quick or don't ever actually happen.<br />
<br />
In a lighthearted way, the doctor (who I LOVE) said "Have you ever thought of having him seen by Behavioral Health?". Those words changed me. In an instant I realized that Jojo's behaviors were not just due to him being a hot mess or "spirited" but possibly something else. Something that could be identified. Diagnosed. And treated. I realized that maybe things could get better. And I wanted that. I wanted things to get better for him and for me and for all of us. I realized that I very much needed things to get better because I was slowly but surely falling apart.<br />
<br />
Our doctor said that she would make a referral to Behavioral Health, but that it may take a while to actually get in to see someone. She suggested that I give them a call to find out how long the wait would be so I would know what to expect. I called. That day. And 2 weeks later someone called me back. TWO WEEKS. The lady who called me sounded less than thrilled to be speaking with me and informed me that their next available appointment was in November. This was in January. So I said no thank you, assuming that there must be a better way. Parents who have a child with behaviors that warrant seeing a doctor who specializes in behaviors can't be expected to wait NINE MONTHS to get the help they need right? I mean, you literally can grow a human person in that amount of time. I assumed the place I called was just way too popular or understaffed or grumpy and that there must be a better option.<br />
<br />
So I did my research, I asked other moms, I talked to our pediatrician and it turns out that there was no better option. This is apparently just how things go when you have a child with behavioral issues. And in my humble opinion that really just sucks.<br />
<br />
I waited, and researched, and called, and begged and cried and eventually our doctor called with a possible option. I reached out to the psychologist she recommended and was thrilled to find out they could see us. In July. Which still really sucked but it sucked less than November so I made the appointment.<br />
<br />
Let me pause here to give you a bit of insight into what we deal with on a daily basis with Jojo. He is in to EVERYTHING. If he is not supposed to have it, he wants it. I have gates in pretty much every doorway in my house and some type of locks on all interior doors. We have to keep Jojo confined mainly to the living room because that is the only room that is mostly fully Jojo proofed, which means the only things he can reach are the few toys that aren't in toy time-out due to him throwing them at someone in the kitchen, the couch, and a tv table that has literally nothing on it. I had to build a dutch door for my hallway because Jojo can't be around Zee without someone watching his every move due to the fact that he will take toys away from Zee, hit him, kick him and sit on his head. So when we are home, Zee is usually down the hall in the twins bedroom (where neither of them sleep) where he is safe from Jojo but I can still see and hear him over the half door and we can reach over from the other side to lock it and keep Jojo in the living room. I had to change out the deadbolt on our front door to one that has a key on both sides after Jojo figured out how to turn the old deadbolt and straight up left one day (we got him back quickly but still). So now we have a chain lock on the inside, we keep the deadbolt locked from the inside with a key we keep on a hook up high so he cant reach it (yet), and we have a key that stays in the lock on the outside so when one of us goes out we can just lock the door back rather than someone on the inside having to come behind us and lock the door. Side note: this is the system to keep Jojo IN. Luckily I have a Vivint Home Security system to keep the bad guys OUT. ;-)<br />
<br />
If I am in the kitchen attempting to do all of the things and Jojo wants something he will stand at the gate and SCREAM "MOM!" with ever increasing volume and insistence until I stop what I am doing and get him whatever he wants. If I am sitting on the couch with him (as he has likely instructed me to do) and he needs something from the kitchen, I have to gather up my phone, the remote and any other items I might have with me because if I leave anything behind he will take and swiftly toss it either behind the couch or through the cat door and down the stairs. We cannot put ANYTHING down that he can reach. No drinks, phones, snacks, nothing is safe. Now that you have that mental picture let's move on.<br />
<br />
Jojo does great at school. Partly because he thrives on structure and
partly because I am not there. I am like his bad behavior trigger. We finished up round 1 of Kindergarten (he is on round 2 now) and moved in to the summer. As with all summers, I had great big plans of all the adventures we would have and the fun things we would do together while keeping Jojo busy and hopefully worn out. However, as with all summers, nothing went as planned. The big kids just wanted to either hang out with friends or chill at home. Zee doesn't walk yet and weighs 1,000 pounds so taking Jojo and Zee almost anywhere by myself is practically impossible. He legit needs a body guard to have eyes on him at all times. This resulted in us spending the majority of the summer at home, with no structure and my sanity slowly slipping away.<br />
<br />
I called the psychologist office one day and told the secretary that I was at my wits literal end and that if someone cancelled an appointment to PLEASE call me and we would come straight there no matter the circumstances. Praise the Lord someone cancelled and we got our appointment moved up to mid June.<br />
<br />
I had high hopes for this appointment, obviously. I needed answers and I needed help and I needed it right then. The doctor saw us and Jojo moved quickly around his desk rearranging computer cords and organizing the doctors cough drops into rows as we talked. The doctor told me that Jojo now had a diagnosis of ADHD, ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and OCD. Then he informed me that it was their policy not to give any medications until the child had completed 6 months of therapy. I'm not going to lie I was hoping and praying for drugs. I was crushed but still determined so we made our first therapy appointment for the following week.<br />
<br />
Ella came with me to this appointment because she is awesome and back up is always good. We were called into a conference room with a big table in the middle and a small box of toys in the corner which was not at all what I had pictured but I decided to trust the process. The process however was not to be trusted. Jojo set out to dumping out all of the toys (not to play with them just to dump them), attempting to pull the curtains from the windows, standing on the table and trying to leave the room. The therapist (who looked a lot like Donna from Parks and Rec now that I think about it) looked stunned and she was clearly not sure what to do with her words or her hands. She said that she had "never worked with a child with Down syndrome before" at which time I pointed to Zee (who was happily playing with something random under the table) and said "this is a child with Down syndrome". Then I pointed to Jojo who was running around the room like a spider monkey on crack and said "this is NOT Down syndrome". Yes, Jojo has Down syndrome, but that is clearly not why we were there. She went on to tell me that with a "typical" 6 year old with behavior issues she would have them sit down and talk about how they feel and how to deal with their feelings and I went on to tell her that that was never going to happen. We agreed that this wasn't going to do anyone any good and could possibly be the end of their conference room and she promised she would try to find a better option for us.<br />
<br />
She did try, but unfortunately the better option was the same place I had already called back in January and had also since filled out all of the paperwork for and hand delivered it to their office whilst begging for their mercy since they had still not called me back. Sidenote: whilst is a great and under-used word. Also, as of today they have STILL NOT CALLED ME BACK. So, we were back to square one and I was running out of patience. I called the psychologists office back and begged for help. There must be somewhere else we could go, a medication we could try, something.They said they would try to find a place that offered ABA therapy that could take us, but guess what? Same place we were already waiting on. So after much begging they sent a "medication referral" to a psychiatrist.<br />
<br />
While we were waiting for a call back to schedule that appointment (which took a couple more months) we went back to our pediatrician. I told her that the psychologist FINALLY saw us but basically gave us a hand full of diagnosis and absolutely no help in dealing with them. I begged her to start him on a low dose of a common ADHD med while we waited for the psychiatrist appointment and since he was again acting like a spider monkey on crack she agreed.<br />
<br />
I felt such a HUGE relief because after 7 months of nothing I finally had something. And I knew plenty of fellow Ds mamas who's kids were on the same med and it had worked great for them so I just knew it would be the answer for us as well. It wasn't. It made him worse. And so did the next med we tried. And all of this happened just as school was starting back and I was terrified that he was going to acting like a nut job at school which was the ONLY place where he actually behaved.<br />
<br />
We finally got in to see the psychiatrist who promptly un-diagnosed him with OCD and re-diagnosed him as high functioning on the autism spectrum. She explained that his need to have groups of things that are alike and move them from one place to another was a characteristic of autism whereas with OCD you have to make sure things are in groups etc or else you feel like something bad is going to happen. Did hearing autism feel like a punch in the gut for a second? Yes. Did it change anything at all? No. I didn't really care what she said or what she diagnosed him with as long as she gave us help.<br />
<br />
So, she started him on a cocktail of meds, one of which is an anti-psychotic which totally freaked me out at first but again I didn't really care what she gave us as long as whatever she suggested actually helped.<br />
<br />
Today, we are a couple of months into what I can only call "figuring this out by trial and error". He is verbal, but not enough to say "mom these meds make me feel super tired" or "mom I feel like I don't want to eat anything". And that is hard. But we forge on. With the help of his teachers at school and doctors we are working to adjust meds, add meds, remove meds and so on until we all collectively feel like he is in a better place. He has had days when he wasn't doing so well at school and that let me know that something was off. He still acts like a fool at home most of the time. They say kids save their worst behaviors for the ones they love the most and if that is true he loves the absolute crap out of me. I have had days of extreme guilt when the enemy tells me that I am the problem. He behaves so well at school and he acts like an angel when he is with Papa so I must be the problem, and I have to fight against that voice every day.<br />
<br />
Why tell you this story? I have a few reasons:<br />
<br />
1. I am sure there is someone out there who has dealt with, or will deal with something similar. Knowing you are not alone, although it often (very often) feels that way, will hopefully give another family the confidence they need to fight this fight for their child.<br />
<br />
2. Something must change. I have no idea how things are in other States (please let me know if you have experience), but here in Alabama the system for kids with behavioral challenges and mental health issues SUCKS. If a child is diagnosed with cancer or pneumonia or a simple thyroid issue, they are almost immediately started on medications and treatments to begin to solve or at least lessen the effects of their illness. It appears that the current answer for all things mental and behavioral health is being added to a waiting list that may go on until Jesus comes back and that is just not good enough. We can and must do better.<br />
<br />
3. When I first brought Jojo's behaviors to light in a couple of Down syndrome Facebook groups, I had multiple mom friends who private messaged me and said something along the lines of "Johnny has been on {INSERT NAME OF DRUG HERE} for forever and it has really helped us but I didn't want to say that in the group because I would get mom-shamed by all the crunchy granola oil loving mamas". Hear me here people: I know not one mama who has a child with cancer who would every hesitate to post on Facebook or Instagram or shout from the proverbial rooftops when their child has been approved for a medicine or treatment that could ultimately save their child's life. THIS SHOULD BE NO DIFFERENT.<br />
<br />
Bottom line: the shame and stigma surrounding mental health issues must change. I have personally been on anxiety meds for basically forever and now due to SEE ABOVE I am on an anti-depressant as well. Why should that be a big deal? If I broke my leg and had to have surgery I would never feel the need to whisper to a friend that I was on meds for the unbearable physical pain, so why should unbearable mental and emotional pain be any different?<br />
<br />
People die due to mental illness y'all. We can't continue acting like that is not the case. So please friends, be bold. Share your stories. I feel that is the only way that we can conquer the stigma and shame.<br />
<br />
And if you need help, or your child needs help, get it. No matter how hard long you have to fight. You are worth it. Our kids are worth it.<br />
<br />
I would choose Jojo a million times again even knowing what I know now. I firmly believe that God gives us the kids that are meant to be ours, no matter how they come to be ours. Zee has a whole host of medical issues that I battle with zero shame or concern for what anyone might think of me and Jojo's issues should be treated the same way. I love him with every fiber of my being and I always will. He is bossy but he often bosses me to rub his hands or feet when he is sleepy and that melts my heart every time. He says "Da!" instead of yes (I think someone taught him German I am telling y'all he has always been advanced) and I love that. He sleeps in the bed with me every night and I think I will never get married again for the sole purpose of being able to snuggle him every night for all of my days because gosh he is adorable and sweet when he is asleep.<br />
<br />
God knew what He was doing when he picked me to be his mama, because He knows how much I love a good fight. ;-) <br />
<br />
Blessings,<br />
<br />
jennymo <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-6390171644789787222018-03-20T12:39:00.001-07:002018-03-20T12:59:11.091-07:00A response to Ruth Marcus and others like her for World Down syndrome Day 2018<h3>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I am writing this to Ruth Marcus of the Washington Post in response to her article "I would have aborted a fetus with Down syndrome. Women need that right." from March 9th, 2018, but it could easily be directed to so many across the world who share her same opinions regarding people with Down syndrome.</span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></h3>
<br />
I have written and rewritten this post in my head a hundred times over the last week or so. I could go on and on about prenatal testing or abortion. I could argue so many points in the article, and unfortunately there are a few that I cant argue with. But none of those things would accomplish my goal in writing this. I guess the best thing I can say is<br />
<br />
Ruth, you just don't get it.<br />
<br />
Bless your heart. <br />
<br />
In a feeble attempt to change that fact, allow me to tell you a little bit about my son Zee.<br />
<br />
I was not given the option to abort Zee, because I am not his birth mother. When I met Zee, he was 7 months old in a Intensive Care Unit at a local hospital. A ventilator was helping him breathe. He had a tube in his airway to keep it from collapsing. He was connected to multiple other machines to give him oxygen and monitor his heart. He was being fed through a tube in his stomach and given countless medicines to keep him alive.<br />
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I was a brand new foster parent and I knew not one thing about his care. I was a single mom and I already had two biological children as well as a 1 year old son I adopted at birth who also happens to be blessed with an extra chromosome. <b><i>I had every single reason in the world to say no. </i></b><br />
<br />
But I knew something deep down in my soul that day. I knew without a doubt that if I said no, he would surely die.<br />
<br />
You see, I was the last ditch effort for him. Without my yes, he may have never gotten well enough to leave the hospital, and if he had he would have been sent to a nursing home. I knew he was my son when I first laid eyes on him and I have never regretted going to that hospital and giving this sweet boy a chance.<br />
<br />
And to quote your article, he was "not the child I wanted".<br />
<br />
I never once dreamed of bringing home a child who was ventilator dependent. I never hoped that our living room would be turned into a virtual ICU for months on end. I never "wanted" to have to go through 6 weeks of training with my mom to learn how to care for a medically fragile child.<br />
<br />
<b><i>He was not the child I wanted.....until I met him.</i></b><br />
<br />
And then he changed my world for the better.<br />
<br />
<br />
You see Ruth, a perfect child with no scars and no prenatal diagnosis could have never taught me about a love like this.<br />
<br />
Every time I feel his heart beat I am thankful, because I was there both times that it stopped and he had to have CPR to be brought back.<br />
<br />
Every sound he manages over his trach fills my heart up because for so long he could make no sound at all.<br />
<br />
Every time he scoots across my floor I smile with pride because I know that for almost 2 years he couldn't sit up much less crawl.<br />
<br />
Every time he wraps his tiny arms around my neck and hugs me I remember the time, not so long ago, when he didn't even know how to be held because it had never happened to him before. It was like holding a rolled up rug instead of a child. He just didn't know what to do with love.<br />
<br />
Every time he plays with a toy or laughs at a song I think of the time when he was in the hospital and all he could do to entertain himself was stare at the back of his own hand.<br />
<br />
Yes, "Down syndrome is life altering for the entire family"....just as you said.<br />
<br />
You just don't understand. It is life altering in a good way.<br />
<br />
Those of us who love a person with special needs don't think about their IQ's or their future financial security. We are just so very thankful for the beautiful lessons that they teach us every day. We are thankful that they are different because that is what makes them special. They teach us things about ourselves that we could have never learned any other way. They cause us to be more kind and more compassionate. They give us new eyes so to speak to see the overlooked, the vulnerable, the alone and to reach out to them.<br />
<br />
And if given the choice to live in your perfect cookie cutter world with the kids and the life you wanted and your "good company" of friends who agree with you, I would choose my hot mess of a life every single time. I don't want to live in your world where everyone has the same abilities and the same IQ and the same chance and financial stability and independent living because that is not a real world. You simply can't abort everyone who doesn't fit the mold that you created. <br />
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Loving those who are different than us makes us better people.<br />
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I just wish I knew how to make you see that.<br />
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<br />jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-53423207399260224012017-08-04T18:49:00.001-07:002017-08-04T18:49:26.103-07:00Elynn's Celebration of Life<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: red;">Did you find one of the balloons from Elynn's memorial service?</span></h3>
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<span style="color: red;">Please comment here and let us know where you found it!</span></h3>
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I just can't say enough thank yous to all of the people who helped to make Elynn's service perfect. </div>
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To God be all the glory!</div>
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jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-77056463876375406732017-07-06T16:00:00.001-07:002017-07-10T17:47:07.408-07:00A tribute to Elynn by Gary Clark<div align="center">
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<span style="color: red;">Did you find one of the balloons from Elynn's memorial service?</span></h3>
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<span style="color: red;">Please comment here and let us know where you found it!</span></h3>
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<b><span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt; margin: 0px;">A personal note from Gary Clark</span></b></div>
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{my sweet dad emailed this to all of his clients and it is just too sweet to not share}</h4>
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<span style="color: #7b6e65; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Financial planning
and investment management are important. Work is important. Providing for
your family…. very important. But we need to check up on a regular basis to
make sure we are not neglecting some very important things that money can’t
buy.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #7b6e65; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">A little more than ten years ago our daughter, Jenny was
pregnant with her second child and going through a divorce. So, we agreed
to move in together to share expenses and so that my wife, Emily could help
with the children. About four years ago Jenny, along with a commitment from
Emily, me and the two children, began her ministry of serving special needs
children, including those with significant health challenges. I now have
two grandchildren who are natural-born and two who are adopted. The two
adopted ones have Down Syndrome. JoJo is quite healthy but the other one,
not so much…two heart surgeries along with a lung disease are the major
challenges for Zee. Zee spent most of his first year of life in the
hospital. His future was dim until Jenny brought him home, along with lots
of medical equipment.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7b6e65; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Jenny, along with Emily’s help, has taken loving care of
quite a few foster children for various periods of time. About a year ago
Jenny agreed to take responsibility for the care of a two-year-old baby
with Downs and with very fragile health. Elynn's heart and lung condition
was severe, his needs were many and his life expectancy was short. He
didn't have much hope for having a family or even for having a good
place to live. Jenny brought him home and, along with the help of Emily,
gave him a family, a good place to live, good medical care and all the love
and affirmation with which any any son could be blessed.
He spent a lot of time in the hospital, including two
heart surgeries as well as other surgeries and procedures. He never gained
the strength to walk—in fact, he never even crawled. He moved around by
rolling and by scooching. However, he didn’t go far because he was attached
to oxygen. He never took any food or liquids by mouth. No ice cream, no
candy, not even a bottle. Anything swallowed went into his lungs due to a
deformity that apparently couldn’t be fixed. Of course, he took food though
a tube directly into his stomach. He suffered a lot of pain and discomfort.
He struggled to breath.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7b6e65; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Thursday morning, June 29, Elynn’s frail little body finally
gave out. He went to be with our Lord Jesus….</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Jesus wiped every tear from
his eyes.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">No more pain, no more
discomfort.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">He doesn’t need extra
oxygen, he can breathe just fine now.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">No more trips to the hospital.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">No more surgeries or
procedures.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">He can now laugh normally
without having to take a breath between every “ha”.</span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #7b6e65; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">I was influenced by Elynn. Even though he was very weak
physically, he was mentally strong. When he felt relatively well, he would
be smiling, happy and playing as best he could. He was very liberal with
throwing kisses to anyone who would give him some attention. What he wanted
most was expressions of our love…hugs and kisses. When he felt neglected,
he would sometimes be quite vocal about it but all we had to do was to pick
him up or lie down beside him on the floor—just look at him and talk to him
and be close enough for him to touch us.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7b6e65; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">In human terms, Elynn got a very bad deal in life--but he
didn’t do much whining. I often wondered why he didn’t cry more, especially
when I would notice a grimace from some internal pain. I have had a very
good deal in life but I have spent too much time whining, complaining and
feeling sorry for myself. I think I will be a better person due to the
influence of my foster-grandson Elynn. His first word that I remember was,
Papa. I like that.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7b6e65; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Someone may say, “he is only a foster child”. But, he is
family…I can assure you that we love him accordingly.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7b6e65; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">To everyone who is still reading, I want to thank you for
caring. Please show your concern for someone who is less fortunate than
you—especially children--especially family. I can assure you that no one
wants be alone when death is imminent. Too many times, I have
made up an excuses for attending a funeral...I'll bet you have
too. Our conditions are terminal too--it's just a matter of time. They
need to be remembered and we need to be reminded. </span><br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Love must be sincere.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Be devoted to one another
in brotherly love.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Honor one another above
yourselves.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Be joyful in hope, patient
in affliction.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Share with God’s people who
are in need.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Practice hospitality.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Rejoice with those who
rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Do not be proud but be
willing to associate with people of low position.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #387b37; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Romans 12</span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #7b6e65; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">May God bless you richly,</span><br />
<span style="color: #7b6e65; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">Gary Clark</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7b6e65; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; margin: 0px;">{memorial celebration will be held on Monday July 10th at
1pm at The Church at Brook Hills}</span></td>
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jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-31773414445757602272017-05-11T20:13:00.000-07:002017-05-11T20:13:27.361-07:00The Story of Brighten Storie<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me, T (birth mom), Jessica and brand new Brighten</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I have been trying to write this down since September, but haven't quite been able to find the words.<br />
<br />
Now that Mother's Day is upon us again, the time seems right to tell this awesome God orchestrated story.....at least my side of it.<br />
<br />
Last Summer I was contacted by Jojo's birth mother. She was expecting a baby and she didn't feel like she was in a good place to parent this child. Jojo would have a full biological sibling very soon. <br />
<br />
I can't quite express the range of emotions that I went through when I heard that news! If I'm being totally honest, I actually toyed with the idea of adopting the new baby although I was not prepared to "start over" again so to speak. But gracious this would be Jojo's SIBLING.<br />
<br />
I prayed a lot and God made the answer crystal clear. Biology doesn't make family, love does.<br />
<br />
With so many families waiting to adopt a baby, I knew helping Jojo's mom find the perfect family for his sister was the right thing to do.<br />
<br />
I thought this part would be easy. I attend a really big church and I feel like the families who <i>don't</i> have adoption as part of their story are in the minority! I truly thought that I would toss the info out there to a handful of people and BAM the obvious perfect family that had been right under my nose the whole time would appear. But God....<br />
<br />
The baby was due in September....and it was August! So I was tasked with finding a Christ following family that was already paperwork ready to adopt, who lived near me (so Jojo and baby could know each other as they grow up), who was willing and able to up and go to Texas when it was baby time AND stay there for at least 2 weeks. <i>And that was all the easy stuff</i>. It also had to be a family who was wiling to "roll with" the craziness of this particular adoption situation.<br />
<br />
Most adoptions take place through an agency and those are the people who walk you through all the paperwork, all the uncertainties, travel plans...everything. Well we didn't have time for all that, plus it would make the adoption significantly more expensive for the family that God chose to parent this baby. So it had to be a family who could find a way to TRUST GOD big time, and in a way to trust me as well.<br />
<br />
And of course, God provided just that.<br />
<br />
I had a handful of God fearing women who walked with me through these weeks, and I will be forever grateful to them. Because of them, I found my way to Jason and Jessica. We spoke on the phone about the craziness of the situation and they didn't seem too terrified, so we decided to meet for dinner a few days later. I knew after talking to them for a short time over Thai food that they were the ones. And the rest is history {which Brighten's mom has documented beautifully with tons of pictures in the posts below! When she refers to"C" that is me ;-)}<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mrsblogbacktome.com/adoption-blog/2016/10/5/brightens-storie-part-one" target="_blank">Brighten's Storie: Part One</a><br />
<a href="http://www.mrsblogbacktome.com/adoption-blog/2016/10/5/brightens-storie-part-two" target="_blank">Brighten's Storie: Part Two</a><br />
<a href="http://www.mrsblogbacktome.com/adoption-blog/2016/10/18/brightens-storie-part-three" target="_blank">Brighten's Storie: Part Three</a><br />
<a href="http://www.mrsblogbacktome.com/adoption-blog/2016/10/27/brightens-storie-part-four" target="_blank">Brighten's Storie: Part Four</a><br />
<br />
So, this Mother's Day I feel compelled to tell our birth mom again how much we appreciate her. I can't imagine life without Jojo, and I can't imagine not being Brighten's "Auntie Grandma". You made the most selfless sacrifice not once, but twice, and we are forever changed because of your choice.<br />
<br />
This is the letter I wrote to "T" three years ago for Mother's Day: <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.jennymo.com/2014/05/dear-birth-mom-happy-mothers-day.html" target="_blank">Dear Birth Mom: Happy Mother's Day</a><br />
<br />
I just love the way God knits families together don't you?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brighten on left. Jojo on right.</td></tr>
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<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brighten and Jojo meet.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me, T and Jojo</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-70465258339840664362017-03-14T12:07:00.000-07:002017-03-14T12:07:16.579-07:00Beauty from Ashes- A review of "The Lucky Few" by Heather Avis<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.theluckyfewbook.com/" target="_blank">pre order the book now!</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In her first
book “The Lucky Few”, Heather Avis takes us along on her journey through
infertility, adoption and the unexpected gift of having not one but two
children with designer chromosomes. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I consider
Heather a friend, although we have never met in real life. The Down syndrome
community is just awesome that way. So when I was given the opportunity to read
her new book before its release I was elated and honored. I expected a book
about Down syndrome, but what I read was so much more.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This book
takes us on the bumpy but beautiful road that ultimately leads Heather and her
husband Josh to the adoption of their seriously gorgeous children Macyn, Truly
and August. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was
surprised to find in the first few chapters that this book really reads like a
work of fiction, in a “I can’t wait to see what is going to happen next” kind
of way. The way that God knit this family together is so crazy, but in a God
crazy kind of way, that makes it a page turner from the Introduction to the Acknowledgements. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This story
is not just about Down syndrome any more than it is just about the very real
struggle of infertility or the seriously risky business of adoption. It is
about a woman who, like me, knew she always wanted to be a mom, and a great big
God who she chose to trust, sometimes through tears and gritted teeth, every
step of the way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Change the
names, add a few kids, take away the supportive and handsome husband and mix in
foster care and this is my story. But the amazing thing about this book? It will
become your story too. Because we all have those beauty from the ashes times in
our lives. Yes, they all look different, but the end result is the same. If we
choose to trust our God (who’s plans are often different than ours, but ALWAYS
better) then we can all find ourselves in some of the most beautiful and hard places,
where His light can truly shine. This is the place where He will be glorified
and we will be blessed in the most unimaginable ways. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“The Lucky Few” will be released on
March 21<sup>st</sup>, World Down syndrome Day. Please visit
<a href="http://theluckyfewbook.com/">theluckyfewbook.com</a> to read Chapter 1 today! You can also pre-order the book
and get access to other fun goodies. Also, be sure to follow @macymakesmyday on
Instagram to meet the beautiful family whose journey created this amazing
story. </span></span></div>
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jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-67030037307211894442016-05-26T07:58:00.001-07:002016-05-26T07:58:11.100-07:00the story of zeeI have written bits and pieces of his story before, but because he was in foster care I could never tell it all. Now that he is all mine, I want to tell the whole story.<br />
<br />
As many of you know, before I got the call about Jojo, I was taking classes to become a foster parent. About a year after Jojo was born, I began to feel God tugging at my heart to do the few things I had left to get licensed.<br />
<br />
I remember one of the questions on the paperwork asked how many kids I would like to have. None. I wanted to have none more kids. BUT, I did want to be available just in case there was a child who came in to foster care who had Down syndrome. I knew enough about foster care to know that it is hard to place the "typical" kids, so I could only imagine how hard it might be to place a child with special needs.<br />
<br />
I got licensed on a Friday. On Monday my friend Amanda from DHR called me.<br />
<br />
You may not realize this, but there is a process for kids who are difficult to place. Once the county that the child is from has determined that they do not have foster parents who are willing (or able) to take the child, they contact the surrounding counties. If there is still no one, they send out a state wide email. If there is still no foster family, then the kids with behavioral issues, the older kids, the large sibling groups etc typically go to a group home. The kids with medical/special needs go to a nursing home. Zee was a state wide email. I can say with confidence that if I had not said yes, he would have ended up in a nursing home, and would likely not have lived.<br />
<br />
As Amanda read Zee's LONG list of special need and medical needs(Down syndrome. Fully ventilator dependent. Tracheostomy. Gastrostomy.
Ventilator dependent. Chronic respiratory failure. AV Canal. Tetrology
of Fallot. Pulmonary Hypertension, Developmental delay. Hypothyroidism.
Polyspleenia), many of which neither of us could pronounce, I felt sheer terror. But when she asked me if I was scared off yet, for some reason I said no. This is specifically what I signed up for, although I wasn't expecting it to look like this or happen so fast. I suggested that I go to the hospital and meet him, pray a whole lot, and we would go from there.<br />
<br />
My friend Lisa happened to be in town when I met Zee for the first time. She said "you know if you meet him you won't be able to say no", and I knew that was true.<br />
<br />
I was terrified and calm at the same time as I walked down the hall in the hospital to meet him. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">June 24, 2014</td></tr>
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<br />
There were 2 social workers, a couple of nurses and a doctor in the little room. I don't think any of them expected me to say yes to him. I could tell they were all a little shocked when I picked him right up (after snapping a few pics obviously) despite all the wires and machines he was attached to. We talked over his case and his medical needs. The plan at the time was they would wean him off the ventilator and he would come home with just the trach and gtube. He would need surgery eventually but right now he just needed someone to come to the hospital to hold him and bond with him. I said yes to that plan. Of course, like most plans, things turned out quite differently.<br />
<br />
I could tell pretty quickly from visiting him that weaning off the vent wasn't going so well. It seemed that very little changed each time I saw him, until the day everything changed.<br />
<br />
I got a call from the hospital saying Zee had coded and I needed to come right away. That was less than 3 weeks after the day we met.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">August 11, 2014</td></tr>
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I truly thought he was going to die that day. I felt so helpless because I could obviously do nothing for him. The other problem was, although they knew he would come in to foster care upon his release from the hospital, he wasn't in foster care yet. And his birth mom was still around. That meant that when there were decisions to be made about his care, she was the one they talked to. Helpless is the only word to describe it.<br />
<br />
He manged to pull through and had his first heart surgery a few weeks later. They did a repair that would basically "hold him off" until he was big enough and strong enough to have his open heart surgery.<br />
<br />
By the grace of God alone he was doing well enough by the end of September that they were ready to send him home, however, he was still on the ventilator and it didn't look like he would be coming off it any time soon. This meant that my mom and I (they require two caregivers) had to go through 6 weeks of training to learn all about caring for a child on a ventilator/trach.<br />
<br />
We somehow managed to complete the training with the help of our village who take care of the other 3 kids and helped us with meals, and on November 24, 2014 Zee came home. He was 10 months old.<br />
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To be honest, the months that followed are a bit of a blur. I was so so happy to have him home, but his care was exhausting. The amount of supplies, the medications, the machines and the potential for emergencies were just overwhelming. Going anywhere was really hard and we had a lot of doctor appointments.<br />
<br />
In May of 2015, his cardiologists did a test to look at his heart and decided he was ready for his open heart surgery. Although I wanted (selfishly) to wait until after the summer for the sake of Aidan and Ella Mae, we decided it was best to go ahead and get it done. He had his first open heart surgery in June of 2015. The first surgery wasn't as successful as they had hoped, and he was still having complications, so a second open heart surgery was necessary. In all we spent over a month in the hospital.<br />
<br />
When I think back on that time, it strikes me that I never thought about the fact that as a foster parent I had no legal rights to this child at all. I put my life on hold for over a month to be there for him every day and night. My "own kids" summer was crap. All for a child who may not be forever mine one day. I am glad now that I was able to trust God and His sovereign plan for Zee during that time.<br />
<br />
For about a month after his open heart surgeries, his care was pretty complicated. We had new meds that had to be delivered through a PIC line in addition to all his other stuff. BUT, he was no longer dependent on O2, and slowly but surely his little body began to heal and he got stronger and stronger.<br />
<br />
The rest of 2015 was really amazing. He was finally able to sit up on his own. Learned to eat food like a boss. Learned to drink from a straw cup. He was able to take breaks from the ventilator eventually leading to him only needing it at night time. He was FINALLY able to be totally disconnected from machines during the day meaning we could walk freely around the house with him (that was a really big deal), go outside etc. He started to crawl in his own unique way! The progress he made in the months following his surgery were truly remarkable.<br />
<br />
In early March 2016 we went before a judge for TPR court. This is when the rights of the parents are terminated. Everything went smoothly (which is awesome because that is rare) and TPR was granted! Then we just had to wait out the appeal process and pray towards adoption day.<br />
<br />
May 10th, 2016 was the big day. A judge confirmed what I had known in my heart all along. He was mine. My son. "Just as if he had been born to you".<br />
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<br />
<br />
He got a new name that day.<br />
<br />
Zee Emmanuel Clark.<br />
<br />
Emmanuel means "God with us". God has changed us all through Zee's life. He has proven Himself faithful time and again. He has been our Provider and Zee's Healer. I am so glad I gave God my "yes" that day. I am so glad I trusted Him through the hard times.<br />
<br />
Zee's life has taught me a great lesson. He had no one. Then God sent me. Even when he wasn't truly "mine" I was still there, loving him. Being his mom. It is the perfect picture of the Gospel. God pursues us, even if we don't want to be His. He is our Father, whether we claim Him as such or not. And when we do become forever His and trust Him to lead us, He will never leave us or fail us.<br />
<br />
And now for the most important part of his story: all the moments you have missed.<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QPSQhy4QSCQ" width="560"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
FAQ's:<br />
<br />
Has Zee been his name all along?<br />
No. That was his nickname from the beginning and it just stuck!<br />
<br />
Will he always have the trach?<br />
No. Not sure how long we will have it, but I am in no rush. He just needs to grow a little more so his airway can be larger and then we will get rid of it!<br />
<br />
Why does he still have a gtube if he can eat and drink by mouth?<br />
Good question. The best answer is because doctors are very hesitant to remove anything before they are 100% sure that they won't end up having to put it back in.<br />
<br />
Will he ever be able to talk?<br />
Yes! It will require a whole lot of work with our speech therapist, but I am confident it will happen someday.<br />
<br />
Will he ever be all better?<br />
Sort of. He will always have Down syndrome and his heart issues are something we will always have to follow. He will require additional surgeries as he grows. But I have confidence that will a lot of hard work he will walk, run, talk and do all the things that kids do...in his own time.<br />
<br />
blessings,<br />
<br />
jennymo<br />
<br />
<br />jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-63530969116732797882016-05-18T08:25:00.000-07:002016-05-18T08:25:15.917-07:00today foster care sucks Sometimes foster care looks like a healthy cute baby with no medicines, no machines, no health issues or special needs. Just an adorable infant who needs temporary love and care. But that has never happened to me.<br />
<br />
For me, today, foster care sucks.<br />
<br />
Foster care in my house right now? It looks like a teenager who has so much anger and hurt that she is hell bent on hurting those who are closest to her.<br />
<br />
It looks like a little girl who just wants to go home.<br />
<br />
It looks like more medicines and medical supplies and gtube feeds and machines.<br />
<br />
My room literally smells like either rancid poop or gtube leaky formula yuck all the time. And this poop? It is weird. It gets on stuff and won't come off. And the smell takes days to go away. Weird poop.<br />
<br />
For my forever kids foster care today looks like knowing there is major drama in the house but not knowing exactly what is going on. It looks like sharing everything. Sharing mom. Sharing toys, food, rooms. Everything. It is hard for them today.<br />
<br />
Foster care on social media? It usually looks happy and fine. Why? Because we don't really want you to know how hard and awful it is sometimes. Because then you will never want to do it. And we need you to do it. We need more foster parents. Desperately.<br />
<br />
Yes today foster care sucks. But you know what? We will push through the hard. Why? Because God said so. And He is the boss of me.<br />
<br />
Blessings,<br />
<br />
jennymojennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-54781069131449475822016-04-15T09:47:00.000-07:002016-04-15T09:47:05.797-07:00poop diapers and prom dressesThree years ago today <a href="http://www.jennymo.com/2013/04/i-dont-know-how-to-put-this-butits-kind.html?m=1" target="_blank">I got the call</a> that would change the direction of my life.<br />
<br />
Stephanie from the National Down syndrome Adoption Network called me to tell me I had been chosen by a birth mom. I am still blown away when I think back to that call. I was shocked. Excited. Scared. But God. He knew exactly what He was doing. He knew what His plan was way before He felt the need to inform me.<br />
<br />
And He still does.<br />
<br />
I find myself in such a strange place three little years later. A couple of weeks ago I got my first lesson on how to remove a weave. I have two 2 year olds. I have learned so much about caring for a medically fragile child that I am expecting my nursing degree to come in the mail anyday now. I have a crap ton of medical equipment in my house. I have 2 kids in elementary school, 1 in intermediate school and 1 in high school. I have 3 kids receiving early intervention therapies for special needs. Three in diapers. A Jojo who seems to be pre programmed to destroy all things he has access to. I just bought another car and it isn't for me. Zee's adoption will be final soon. Prom is happening tomorrow and it is a whole situation. Poop diapers. So many diapers.<br />
<br />
I have fostered at least 10 kids in my home. Honestly I've sort of lost count. I have been able to use my voice to advocate for so many children who need permanent and temporary homes. I have talked to countless families who are considering adoption or foster care and have had the opportunity to inform and encourage them. God has done so much work on me and on my family and our faith in Him has grown.<br />
<br />
Today I have 7 kids in my home ranging in age from 6 months to 18 years old.<br />
<br />
This is what I have learned...so far:<br />
<br />
God will most certainly give you more than you can handle.<br />
<br />
But if you align yourself with Him and allow Him to work through you, He will do amazing things. Things that you could never do on your own. By trusting Him, you can do amazing gospel sized things that can impact so many people.<br />
<br />
Who knows what the next three years will hold! My plan is to continue to trust Him to guide me as I point these kids towards Christ.<br />
<br />
Because it is all for Him and His glory!<br />
<br />
Blessings,<br />
<br />
jennymojennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-86602509511121464662015-12-18T11:24:00.002-08:002015-12-18T11:24:58.701-08:002015: the ups and the downs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
What a year it has been for our ever changing family!<br />
<br />
We started the year off still working on getting our bearings with Baby Zee who had only been home for a few weeks. It was like we had a mini hospital in our living room, and looking back on it now it was quite overwhelming to say the least. But, as the days went on, we all got more and more settled in to our new normal.<br />
<br />
But God.<br />
<br />
Those words always crack me up....but they are always good!<br />
<br />
In March we got a call about a little boy with CP who needed a home for a while. I know not the first thing about a child with CP, so this was quite the learning experience. "C" was a hot mess and quite a handful!<br />
<br />
While "C" was with us we found out that Zee would be ready for his open heart surgery sooner than we had originally anticipated which was very good news, but also very difficult as many decisions had to be made. We knew that "C" would have to go back to his family as soon as possible with an extended hospital stay looming in our future. Luckily God worked it all out and he went back home with a couple of weeks to spare before Zee's surgery was scheudled.<br />
<br />
And just like that Summer and open heart surgery was upon us. We went in to the hospital on June 23rd, and did not leave for a month. That was a really hard time. Due to complications Zee had to have not only 1 but 2 open heart surgeries. But God proved himself to be the Healer of Zees little body, and we were finally home at the end of July.<br />
<br />
Zee is doing so well now! He is off the ventilator totally during the day and just has it as a back up at night. He is eating a drinking by mouth and getting stronger each day. Papa says he has a lot of catching up to do and he is surely working on it! I have not adopted him yet...but I will as soon as they let me!<br />
<br />
Jojo is a hot mess. He started walking just before he turned 2 and now spends the majority of his days seeking out new ways to destroy our house. He still doesn't have many words but he communicates just fine!<br />
<br />
Ella Mae fell in love with horses this year....more importantly she became a Christ follower at Rock the Block after hearing her brother share his testimony. She is such an amazing help with the babies!<br />
<br />
Aidan continues to be a soccer super star but also loves to play football in the back yard and is really good at that too! He has a heart like no one I have ever known and I continue to be amazed by this sweet boy God gave me.<br />
<br />
Papa & Emmy....well....if you know them, you should send them a note or a card or give them a hug. They have been absolute rock stars over these last few years and have supported me like I couldn't even have imagined on this crazy foster care ride.<br />
<br />
Just in the second half of this year alone, we have welcomed "Miss V" (who is still with us), "Jake" (another boy with CP), "Bitty Baby" (who was only with us for 2 days) and now we have "Baby Jesus" (nicknamed because we picked him up at the live nativity).<br />
<br />
So we currently have 6 kids in our home. This year has been nuts, but it has been richly blessed. I will leave you with some pictures....because what better way is there to tell a story!? <br />
<br />
Hoping that your family is richly blessed in 2016!<br />
<br />
jennymo<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zee turned 1</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We celebrated Papas 70th</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEedYl6tLZXzW25zNcnHoAmuBzw2nS60huC3OlSvsb1uYcYX2JR-7j7cdwdzxc_0AhG3xr9YtOIi-g3HdrsFLicd_faeI6hJE-Yf7t4pAdhLAqUmKdwkh9tQvVaWMPIOsPWkQkkb13Y-0l/s1600/11072538_10205597032832735_3955138670670513830_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEedYl6tLZXzW25zNcnHoAmuBzw2nS60huC3OlSvsb1uYcYX2JR-7j7cdwdzxc_0AhG3xr9YtOIi-g3HdrsFLicd_faeI6hJE-Yf7t4pAdhLAqUmKdwkh9tQvVaWMPIOsPWkQkkb13Y-0l/s320/11072538_10205597032832735_3955138670670513830_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jojo and "C"</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu5ZsyanuBUkkumULvjfG0mr1cbsDdlecf3VAvfpQ6cHPfepSI2FWynmNFgS-ngcBHjolZ2khVCn4-FtbFPeibaGihYbpAyz0hAVYKDzL-wKYc_HzDhE7ItLYGLumMVPTIex6JlwaISPoH/s1600/11110563_10206311560695485_4843694254566280126_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu5ZsyanuBUkkumULvjfG0mr1cbsDdlecf3VAvfpQ6cHPfepSI2FWynmNFgS-ngcBHjolZ2khVCn4-FtbFPeibaGihYbpAyz0hAVYKDzL-wKYc_HzDhE7ItLYGLumMVPTIex6JlwaISPoH/s320/11110563_10206311560695485_4843694254566280126_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ella Mae broke her arm and fell in love with horses</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzmwVATrD5x1V3dV6tC6qejhreS3pUhvBwXiCPCElPiLm41IHgKQi_v30SLaWJvL8W9hAcHXVG2oljEPwhVh8fuJAERY9nH88zex1MGLRyzftOp_80yZRsrvfE9kCVr9K4UU4sVe91vNmr/s1600/11666103_10206422504989023_4186690115471917104_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzmwVATrD5x1V3dV6tC6qejhreS3pUhvBwXiCPCElPiLm41IHgKQi_v30SLaWJvL8W9hAcHXVG2oljEPwhVh8fuJAERY9nH88zex1MGLRyzftOp_80yZRsrvfE9kCVr9K4UU4sVe91vNmr/s320/11666103_10206422504989023_4186690115471917104_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zee's surgeries</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVJwVxthaPgF2fUdOcFatLGcX8sGuVXPGIBOKpOOek8XYpfdN40K6OhMfBWbeHVS49bsTdUeo2aUcdOjLeuSatPapF4MSfCeOiXMKF1wG0cAqCjcHy0Ry2qlO0cQS9ZpnpBXzzfFmYvB5G/s1600/11540905_10206504550640113_92629994588002244_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVJwVxthaPgF2fUdOcFatLGcX8sGuVXPGIBOKpOOek8XYpfdN40K6OhMfBWbeHVS49bsTdUeo2aUcdOjLeuSatPapF4MSfCeOiXMKF1wG0cAqCjcHy0Ry2qlO0cQS9ZpnpBXzzfFmYvB5G/s320/11540905_10206504550640113_92629994588002244_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jojo walks!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtjaE6f4Am_jZCDZui1hQx7gnwI1jhZC-kIimm05fAjSwmFiGdYE3TXs3oceX6LWoJnmVkholFGQs19UAR9TSSjardt1Kx3nZW0SBT8h1C4tsocy7ixp7rHYVcA0aIDRsbwa3oCkFLGu2G/s1600/11174762_10206651501993805_8025417469904439413_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtjaE6f4Am_jZCDZui1hQx7gnwI1jhZC-kIimm05fAjSwmFiGdYE3TXs3oceX6LWoJnmVkholFGQs19UAR9TSSjardt1Kx3nZW0SBT8h1C4tsocy7ixp7rHYVcA0aIDRsbwa3oCkFLGu2G/s320/11174762_10206651501993805_8025417469904439413_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aidan sharing his baptism video and testimony at Rock the Block</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKGZPCHoj5AuOUPNuB7kEnBiydZIpe53V2sXNH3E_gChL9e3gcfUdXlvlDQcUim7gFTWzpDenaiKb4eRISM-5kOBAZxDDiHJlP0nlkgPe9bPz_URFc5C3qOqQOLHQmS3ZP4LPV_vbP_Yf7/s1600/11750738_10206651513914103_941184072645802268_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKGZPCHoj5AuOUPNuB7kEnBiydZIpe53V2sXNH3E_gChL9e3gcfUdXlvlDQcUim7gFTWzpDenaiKb4eRISM-5kOBAZxDDiHJlP0nlkgPe9bPz_URFc5C3qOqQOLHQmS3ZP4LPV_vbP_Yf7/s320/11750738_10206651513914103_941184072645802268_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ella Mae became a Christ Follower!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGUTv9BlVEqtxfPdku9smyt0BmLknRNLoRkmC7fIpTB6z0YCwY0hvJURQC0UlkWb0R9I1kw3mmSsL9aLbCm7zBX4hyPVcYC7Xwe9FrcS1b-enn9jiuFGB9mv9uzKKEMMs0tDCX1vVWPLWn/s1600/11751761_10206667280708263_472460401882900756_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGUTv9BlVEqtxfPdku9smyt0BmLknRNLoRkmC7fIpTB6z0YCwY0hvJURQC0UlkWb0R9I1kw3mmSsL9aLbCm7zBX4hyPVcYC7Xwe9FrcS1b-enn9jiuFGB9mv9uzKKEMMs0tDCX1vVWPLWn/s320/11751761_10206667280708263_472460401882900756_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zee came home and Jojo turned 2!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjumNfLsFFNf7qzOkTGVPkGQ0XKKP9a9_UR_u4jXhTdhtVnMJQjdecSQERwVxjSkUZ1GBVoNSnnzQYzh3qvDegVVinXUXHYgu-2UDjaWR12fsPyBKwszTHNWUUw-ZdmBr2xCGiYrFv2xZCx/s1600/12063410_10207150947039619_5588055112961192782_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjumNfLsFFNf7qzOkTGVPkGQ0XKKP9a9_UR_u4jXhTdhtVnMJQjdecSQERwVxjSkUZ1GBVoNSnnzQYzh3qvDegVVinXUXHYgu-2UDjaWR12fsPyBKwszTHNWUUw-ZdmBr2xCGiYrFv2xZCx/s320/12063410_10207150947039619_5588055112961192782_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beach trip!</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzmwVATrD5x1V3dV6tC6qejhreS3pUhvBwXiCPCElPiLm41IHgKQi_v30SLaWJvL8W9hAcHXVG2oljEPwhVh8fuJAERY9nH88zex1MGLRyzftOp_80yZRsrvfE9kCVr9K4UU4sVe91vNmr/s1600/11666103_10206422504989023_4186690115471917104_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIdQVOE5rnSg-_OiKEL3QtinqXDGwlg-4L-mzriZSb_K8duj7hyphenhyphenWToWX_XygUjx6kVkwcXQ7RLuVQaMl80AG1lXLA0p-ks3jRRE3MtXemIK8aCslP-fF2YWjCA1xtlMzvObBgCq_c3az_I/s1600/12115724_10207266622411431_8689336803870447578_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIdQVOE5rnSg-_OiKEL3QtinqXDGwlg-4L-mzriZSb_K8duj7hyphenhyphenWToWX_XygUjx6kVkwcXQ7RLuVQaMl80AG1lXLA0p-ks3jRRE3MtXemIK8aCslP-fF2YWjCA1xtlMzvObBgCq_c3az_I/s320/12115724_10207266622411431_8689336803870447578_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ella Mae and "Miss V"</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjraeYlWmSMyhr5Sw6TeUSncYyXDWlUhVO4Gu8zRuRPM3LpUw_GdAoI3I8ipEpNVYiPrlKD4o9LYl4R6YzSPElm40RUENYfZuodx5VIAPH4Z2yQXu6hmb8MoqV7OfF7Q5uCRl6_avjXk3py/s1600/11254031_10207359669977562_5229823305714404925_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjraeYlWmSMyhr5Sw6TeUSncYyXDWlUhVO4Gu8zRuRPM3LpUw_GdAoI3I8ipEpNVYiPrlKD4o9LYl4R6YzSPElm40RUENYfZuodx5VIAPH4Z2yQXu6hmb8MoqV7OfF7Q5uCRl6_avjXk3py/s320/11254031_10207359669977562_5229823305714404925_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aidan and "Jake"</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuCxFvIdi8igCA-3r_RyDrN8EW5PmhAL8mB1kVSEeQ4BKp_gwGNXAFiSnnzNpD5paVx3hUshUwRzS93JwbzcjslW7NVxd-etA9j8Ws3fbC4U_UxXYlML7gaF5QcrQmCDyQzNcZNiGLUoLS/s1600/12118821_10207200948049613_5542129339384017740_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuCxFvIdi8igCA-3r_RyDrN8EW5PmhAL8mB1kVSEeQ4BKp_gwGNXAFiSnnzNpD5paVx3hUshUwRzS93JwbzcjslW7NVxd-etA9j8Ws3fbC4U_UxXYlML7gaF5QcrQmCDyQzNcZNiGLUoLS/s320/12118821_10207200948049613_5542129339384017740_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aidan and Ella Mae had their tonsils out</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9OV37Gm84NHHSiSTqwXwEeIPN6m7jeeQVs_cU_h0cfhKH4RTV1_Q10WZY5MG4lrIrZqpASoPIrKTsbmv7kNLOLEZ6HJUrqHJ-UwXsEVQygIC6id9zqSuUxio_gMSFinIXlMjVJThmqfXC/s1600/10307364_10207289728349065_7735097278151069026_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9OV37Gm84NHHSiSTqwXwEeIPN6m7jeeQVs_cU_h0cfhKH4RTV1_Q10WZY5MG4lrIrZqpASoPIrKTsbmv7kNLOLEZ6HJUrqHJ-UwXsEVQygIC6id9zqSuUxio_gMSFinIXlMjVJThmqfXC/s320/10307364_10207289728349065_7735097278151069026_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zee is disconnected from his machines!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiABjqNd8NmoTowcDps0sjgBY6pf8DCOFciVqXIWBcos-WtV56rmWlv5CXy6Zmx3IRzhK_ItrnJRi8n7DBSEhh39kR0YFtQKlh_DcG8cFmtpxbr81YVyiWrM5FjxilspJKz0WjkNngzIJ9W/s1600/12239981_10207421766769943_4487365019288862285_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiABjqNd8NmoTowcDps0sjgBY6pf8DCOFciVqXIWBcos-WtV56rmWlv5CXy6Zmx3IRzhK_ItrnJRi8n7DBSEhh39kR0YFtQKlh_DcG8cFmtpxbr81YVyiWrM5FjxilspJKz0WjkNngzIJ9W/s320/12239981_10207421766769943_4487365019288862285_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bitty baby</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7DKpKAyv77mkJxdl4QBY4KCCOKVlB8Bq2RAsD7KbSCuxX93_0gFKUSSNxra0SlbhvZGs1fXwBah_BU2MzaPfDw0OsCDdcl5cBnfgBS0yue7tGFYuRrZNDHkNl7LaQvcl5WLOjHgTui7BF/s1600/12347791_10207565248756903_6031344814517597339_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7DKpKAyv77mkJxdl4QBY4KCCOKVlB8Bq2RAsD7KbSCuxX93_0gFKUSSNxra0SlbhvZGs1fXwBah_BU2MzaPfDw0OsCDdcl5cBnfgBS0yue7tGFYuRrZNDHkNl7LaQvcl5WLOjHgTui7BF/s320/12347791_10207565248756903_6031344814517597339_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Soccer star</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq70-XcZA9aSGGuPUl2AEp06_Pr-67b-leQS3rjIkeJms_HPnPZ2OZYNn_UfNPZtP6-3ilfSJbaYPs4ca5GIePiNYMKrB_Jq7-I0z7kIOc0fYILdfdcYvz68lvsjIj2BdxmyEDPq4hGf6R/s1600/11225089_10207594268802386_9199587265794334655_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq70-XcZA9aSGGuPUl2AEp06_Pr-67b-leQS3rjIkeJms_HPnPZ2OZYNn_UfNPZtP6-3ilfSJbaYPs4ca5GIePiNYMKrB_Jq7-I0z7kIOc0fYILdfdcYvz68lvsjIj2BdxmyEDPq4hGf6R/s320/11225089_10207594268802386_9199587265794334655_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zee and "Baby Jesus"</td></tr>
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jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-81350618118405687132015-09-10T12:08:00.000-07:002015-09-10T13:16:03.603-07:00Sex, drugs and middle school...and heart palpitations. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Yall. I am freaking out.<br />
Freak.Ing.Out.<br />
<br />
My oldest child just started 5th grade. This will be his last year before the middle school and then high school years start. I am not ready. Not ready!<br />
<br />
"You better have 'the talk' with him before he starts middle school"<br />
"Trust me if they haven't heard it already they sure will in middle school"<br />
"Middle school is when the kids start experimenting with the drugs and drinking" <br />
<br />
These are the things I hear and I tell you they are keeping me up at night and giving me heart palpitations. I am not equipped for this. Puberty? Ummm...no. Not ready. Drugs? Sex? What?!?! No! My kids are sweet innocent babies. Just look at this picture of them sleeping! It is not time for this. It just can't be. No.<br />
<br />
As I have been losing much sleep lately due to the debilitating fear of my kids growing up (xanax helps), I have started to develop some scenarios in my mind that could allow me to avoid the changes that are a comin'. I would love wisdom from those who have gone through this valley of the shadow of death (that's how it feels ok) before me:<br />
<br />
Scenario #1: Exactly how much trouble would I get in to IF I just took my kids out of school after 5th grade and home schooled them? And by "home school" I mean just keep them at home and not do any of the school because I just can't. Seriously how long would it take for "the man" to realize I wasn't actually schooling my kids? And what would the jail time for that be? Like 3 months? Totally do-able if you ask me.<br />
<br />
Scenario #2: How old do you have to be to go to trade school and can you take those classes on-line?<br />
<br />
Scenario #3: Can we just skip all the "middle" grades and just start studying for the GED? I feel like there are online classes you can take for that like if you were in prison or something so I wouldn't have to teach them but maybe by the time the cops show up at my door they will have gotten their GED and I can be all like "haha too late".<br />
<br />
Scenario #4: Work hard over the next year to have a law passed that would require all students from 6-12th grade to wear a body camera like the police do. Then if some little jerk tries to get my kid to try some crazy synthetic drug that looks just like candy I can pop up in that school like a spider monkey and handle it on the spot. <br />
<br />
As I have been going over all this in my mind, I begin to think to myself that maybe it won't really be <i>that bad </i>because I have really good kids. I do. People compliment them all the time on their manners and how sweet and kind they are and then the voice inside my heads gets all pitchy and starts to scream <span style="font-size: large;"><i>"yeah </i></span><i><span style="font-size: large;">that is what they will say when they get interviewed by Dateline because my kids have started a heroin factory or joined the mafia FOR THE LOVE!!!!" </span></i><br />
<br />
<br />
Although I am leaning hard towards scenario #1 or #4 right now, I realize they are all flawed to some degree because no matter what I do, my kids are going to grow up. They are going to be faced with temptations and challenges and they are going to make mistakes. I just plain can't prevent that from happening. Dangit.<br />
<br />
So what can I do?<br />
<br />
-I can point them to Christ. Not a religion or a habit of simply going to church whenever the doors are opened, but a real relationship with the true and Living God. Real faith. A real love for Jesus and the Gospel. A desire to share that great Gospel with others.<br />
<br />
-I can pray for God to guide and protect them....and trust that He will.<br />
<br />
-I can try my best to SHOW them what it looks like to follow Jesus with my life. They are always watching.....be a good example. <br />
<br />
-I can spend as much time as possible with them, as long as they will allow it. I will let them sleep in my bed (because I can) for as long as they want to....because they won't always want to. I will cherish these years and make the memories. I can be intentional about being their mom but also about making sure we have lots of fun.<br />
<br />
These two sweet kids have my heart in a big way and some days I just love them so much it hurts. Some days I want to lock them in a closet .....but that is neither here nor there.<br />
<br />
Some days I wonder why on earth God saw fit to entrust these people to me, but I am so grateful that He did. I know one day I will stand before Him and answer for how I raised them....and that is a pretty big deal to me.<br />
<br />
Tiny baby Jesus help me to raise these kids in such a way that I do not end up in jail and none of us end up on Dateline....or please just let them never grow up. Amen.<br />
<br />
<br />
Anyone else having heart palpitations?<br />
<br />
<br />
jennymo<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-87920357259249934752015-08-25T08:37:00.001-07:002015-08-26T08:59:31.362-07:00Want to de-fund Planned Parenthood? Get ready to become a foster parent.I am literally typing this post on my phone while I sit at the hospital, so imma keep this one short and sweet.<br />
<br />
Two things I don't get:<br />
<br />
1. Why wasn't everyone all up in arms when we thought PP was just tossing these babies in the trash?<br />
2. If abortions are not readily available then what do you think is going to happen to all those babies?<br />
<br />
Let me be clear: I am pro-life. 110%.<br />
<br />
What frustrates me is when the Church gets all bent out of shape about things that the world is bent out of shape about. Shouldn't we have been fighting this all along?<br />
<br />
And let me tell you what will happen to those babies....IF they are born they will end up with families that don't want them and/or can't care for them. So guess what? They will end up in foster care. Maybe directly from the hospital or a few months or even years down the road.<br />
<br />
So, find a Foster parent licensing class and start the process because we are gonna need you.<br />
<br />
The church should be the solution not just part of the drama.<br />
<br />jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-64371088094187840682015-08-13T11:14:00.004-07:002015-08-13T12:20:22.999-07:00Baby Zees surgery and the oh so bummer no Chuganooga summerMY plan was to wait and schedule Zees surgery in August after my bigs had started back to school. We made a summer bucket list complete with big plans for us and a personal goal of having lots of very intentional time with my kids rather than just letting our summer together coast by.<br />
<br />
But God. I love those words by the way, even when they jack up MY plans.<br />
<br />
We went in for a heart cath in late May to prep for surgery in August. The doctors came away from that procedure confident that he was ready for his surgery ASAP. Not a rush by any means, but he was ready. I prayed over that news and agonized with the decision of what to do. Sometimes making these BIG decisions as a single mom really blows. Just FYI.<br />
<br />
The more I thought about it the more I realized that there were just too many "what if's" in waiting on surgery. What if his recovery took longer than expected and he was still trying to get better when RSV season comes along? What if something unexpected happens between now and August and he is too sick then for the surgery? So many things to think about. Ultimately I listened to God and scheduled the surgery for June 24th (smack in the middle of summer), trusting that God would work everything out.<br />
<br />
People said "How long do you think he will be in the hospital?". My guess was 2 weeks although I knew it could be longer. I had a spreadsheet for 2 weeks worth of fun play dates for my kids, people to keep Jojo, meals from an awesome small group at church....everything was all planned out. Two weeks.<br />
<br />
Two weeks quickly became a month. One open heart surgery became two. Complications were abundant. The spread sheet ran out.<br />
<br />
My bigs and I have tried to do a "just us" trip every summer before school starts back. This year I promised them that we would make it happen. We would go to Chatanooga (Ella Mae has always called it Chuganooga) because they love it there. We would stay at the Choo Choo, spend mornings at the pool(s), go to the aquarium, catch frogs in the evenings at the lily pond.....and just have 24/7 fun. But it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
Zee not only came home still on the ventilator (which I had high hopes of leaving behind), but also with a PICC line for IV antibiotics and an injection that had to be given twice daily. There was literally no way I could leave him, and taking him with us would have defeated the whole purpose. <br />
<br />
People often have concerns about how adoption and/or foster care will affect a persons "own kids". I hate that term by the way. Well, this summer it affected mine. They were disappointed. I am disappointed and I feel guilty. Bad guilty.<br />
<br />
But here is the bottom line: foster care, adoption, mission work, being a pastor, leading a small group, serving widows, being a voice for those who cannot speak for themselves....whatever it is you do for God requires sacrifice. It just does. And the same goes for my bigs because they are on this journey with me. And they are amazing and the lessons they have learned so far and will learn in the years to come will always greatly out weigh any guilt I feel or disappointment they feel. Because what God tells you to do is always the right thing to do. Always.<br />
<br />
And now that I look back over some pics from our summer, I realize we did manage to have a lot of fun together, in spite of me living in a hospital away from them for a whole month. Because God is always right. Always.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Catching lightning bugs</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zip line obstacle course with the BFF's</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6YOKZnnV1r9Mf3u0TvMF6-Sb_MlvApPCTqJ_1oRXSbw9WjVu1jXK8pBftajKIgd8zCcBKKIYJPqFXUolwUWLdTllEBdGQ43MLqohyphenhyphenYC5YCw5_-vuJxVjCmNr9yTfx8bICjpXKssHeinjI/s1600/1896871_10206435999726383_6054561973084875087_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6YOKZnnV1r9Mf3u0TvMF6-Sb_MlvApPCTqJ_1oRXSbw9WjVu1jXK8pBftajKIgd8zCcBKKIYJPqFXUolwUWLdTllEBdGQ43MLqohyphenhyphenYC5YCw5_-vuJxVjCmNr9yTfx8bICjpXKssHeinjI/s640/1896871_10206435999726383_6054561973084875087_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr align="center"><td class="tr-caption">Visiting Zee at the hospital and playing at the Children's Harbor, which turned out to be one of their most favorite things to do this summer</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ella Mae rode her very first horse at The Red Barn</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aidan got a ball signed at a Barons game</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I got to spend a whole weekend with the bigs at a hotel near the hospital...we even ordered room service</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We had backyard VBS at our house with 20+ kids every day who heard the Gospel</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aidan was able to share his own testimony.....</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">.....which led his sister (and maybe even others) to faith in Christ</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We celebrated Jojo turning 2 and welcomed Zee home from the hospital</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_d4xWSeaI24vxUNjkWQhZIlz9iVOYn_vueb4CYyifRalTJm94syWnU-cCAoj33VtNswNY8T-K0LqieSbmnPDXU0ZueVLPfrCph9Gl2H7cN3X4ws8dTJ-S5zxH2Fg0lG9_pY8GY9U9IoGl/s1600/11781809_10206709762370278_3038897708043638888_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_d4xWSeaI24vxUNjkWQhZIlz9iVOYn_vueb4CYyifRalTJm94syWnU-cCAoj33VtNswNY8T-K0LqieSbmnPDXU0ZueVLPfrCph9Gl2H7cN3X4ws8dTJ-S5zxH2Fg0lG9_pY8GY9U9IoGl/s320/11781809_10206709762370278_3038897708043638888_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And spent lots of time with our BFF's</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUhtv8WjzjsU0SEpQSTlg5sHX2F1HpYODSlfqGcrCW6x2AtF8403L5UqPVv33kGqvkgm8Y3b0Gh8AuBjNkJhnUjQNAh4dzlkjorwq4jhWta2MRhLvdZVVxHjfE48sKcV-sYpeHnvHaWibV/s1600/11800453_10206708409816465_6610391543659751943_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUhtv8WjzjsU0SEpQSTlg5sHX2F1HpYODSlfqGcrCW6x2AtF8403L5UqPVv33kGqvkgm8Y3b0Gh8AuBjNkJhnUjQNAh4dzlkjorwq4jhWta2MRhLvdZVVxHjfE48sKcV-sYpeHnvHaWibV/s320/11800453_10206708409816465_6610391543659751943_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUdHRA6KAsYosFHHIMiSCx_yhxTjjiNL134UvpkqTsnTSAI_qUBzCz3N1KGBGruNnoK1IPBfJMOxgEFrhlpGcIFY8YV9e9jUhbrxRheHobT8UtFjrtxWZJFaWKBT7pV9BsBrMtxy5e3VeN/s1600/11870662_10206799684898285_5941439165535005061_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUdHRA6KAsYosFHHIMiSCx_yhxTjjiNL134UvpkqTsnTSAI_qUBzCz3N1KGBGruNnoK1IPBfJMOxgEFrhlpGcIFY8YV9e9jUhbrxRheHobT8UtFjrtxWZJFaWKBT7pV9BsBrMtxy5e3VeN/s320/11870662_10206799684898285_5941439165535005061_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We ended the summer with hand cranked ice cream with Aidan's soccer team</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So I guess when you look at the big picture, maybe it was not such a bummer summer after all.<br />
<br />
Blessings,<br />
<br />
jennymo <br />
<br />jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-64417196020207722312015-06-22T14:21:00.001-07:002015-06-22T14:21:33.186-07:00Zee's surgery: I had a come apart in church.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZBFGlM-qX9hfUmy4D9LJmvquTtBUqrObEGeevQsvwfou8py27_tb8yRjcdxMqlJ9uGt1r264KkS9QIFWrkXEWPU8j2wIGwm4WWOStNYXNdtW3IRlwOgU83WSRytqUGReg-vkd0be2wEE8/s1600/IMG_3418.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZBFGlM-qX9hfUmy4D9LJmvquTtBUqrObEGeevQsvwfou8py27_tb8yRjcdxMqlJ9uGt1r264KkS9QIFWrkXEWPU8j2wIGwm4WWOStNYXNdtW3IRlwOgU83WSRytqUGReg-vkd0be2wEE8/s320/IMG_3418.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As I sat in church yesterday morning, all the stress and emotions I have been trying to control came crashing down. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My prayer from the beginning of this journey with Baby Zee has been for God to be glorified. Not that I don't want that for the lives of all of my kids, but he is special. He is different. Because of his special needs, medical conditions, the whole ventilator situation and because of me being a single mom with a different color skin than his, we sort of stick out like a sore thumb. And I have always felt like that is a good thing. When people see me wheeling around my rolling ICU they notice us. And I want them to. When they ask me questions I am able to tell the story of how God brought us together, and I know He has already been glorified much in that respect.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">However, now it is time for his surgery. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We sang this song as he slept in my arms and I just couldn't make the tears stop.</span><br />
<pre> </pre>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And take my life </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Let it be everything</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">All of me here I am</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Use me for Your Glory </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In everything I say and do </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Let my life honor You </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Here I am living for Your Glory</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pray daily for God to be glorified through Zee's life,</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i> but what I really mean is I want Him to be glorified through his healing. </i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And that's when it hit me. What if that isn't God's plan?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Does my prayer change?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I thought to myself "Lord I feel like Abraham!" and then I thought "don't be so dramatic it's not like He is asking you to lay this child on an altar".......</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Except that He is. This child. My life. His life. The lives of my other kids. All on the altar all for His glory. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So, I will continue to pray for his healing but I will also continue to pray for God to be glorified, even if it is hard and even if it hurts. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Please pray for this sweet baby who I love so dearly....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Blessings,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">jennymo</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i> </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i> </i></span>jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-63467110706878972762015-04-24T12:50:00.002-07:002015-04-24T12:50:50.395-07:00Foster Care Exposed: The uprising of all the single ladies<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHskh7Zcge8JFFLKL4dA9r7-0wJKsfTVF0BspEWtrKbzoP9UDS0DEcG9ZY5yd0T_zR1F8-HTiOQi7CvNAWADjAFy8-_I0bC2GLD0LXOWlVB6tVgN3ahyphenhyphenxc9OuGRE2SrUtXYB_zPu1Nc2UQ/s1600/foster+care.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHskh7Zcge8JFFLKL4dA9r7-0wJKsfTVF0BspEWtrKbzoP9UDS0DEcG9ZY5yd0T_zR1F8-HTiOQi7CvNAWADjAFy8-_I0bC2GLD0LXOWlVB6tVgN3ahyphenhyphenxc9OuGRE2SrUtXYB_zPu1Nc2UQ/s1600/foster+care.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
You know how people have all the excuses for why they can't do foster care?<br />
<br />
"I work full time!"<br />
"I would get too attached."<br />
"It takes a special person to do foster care"<br />
"I just don't have enough time."<br />
"There isn't enough room in my house."<br />
<br />
<br />
Well let me tell you something folks....there has been an uprising of single mamas taking on foster care....and they blow all of those excuses straight out of the water.<br />
<br />
This post is plain and simple. We need to give praise to God for calling these women to glorify Him in this way....and we need to give props to them for simply saying YES.<br />
<br />
<br />Chasity: Accountant<br />
Lana: Teacher<br />
Erin: Physical Therapist<br />
Stephanie: Speech/Language Pathologist<br />
Allison: Teacher<br />
Erin: Teacher<br />
Karen: Executive Assistant<br />
Ruby: Teacher<br />
Connie: Teacher<br />
Lori: School Counselor<br />
Jenny: Teacher<br />
Millie: Photographer<br />
Mandie: Graphic designer/photographer<br />
Jenna: Special Ed Teacher<br />
Mary: School Counselor<br />
Me: Financial Assistant/SAHM #onlycuzihaveanexhusbandwhopaysme<br />
Amy: Teacher<br />
Marissa: Teacher<br />
Selena: Accountant/Controller<br />
<br />
soon to be added to this list:<br />
<br />
Chalice: Nanny<br />
Amy: Nurse<br />
<br />
<i>I listed their occupations, simply to show that they are just normal hard working people just like everyone else. </i><br />
<br />
<br />
Please keep these ladies in your prayers. They are taking on the hard
work of foster care daily....and it isn't easy....but it is good.<br />
<br />
It is
the gospel lived out.<br />
<br />
It is literally changing lives.<br />
<br />
And it is worth
it.<br />
<br />
Blessings,<br />
<br />
jennymojennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-22251953105316011792015-04-16T13:32:00.000-07:002015-04-16T13:32:22.186-07:00Foster Care Exposed: Where do I start!?!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">"I have always wanted to do foster care, but I just don't even know how to get started"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I hear this one a lot, so this is my best attempt to answer some of the very basic questions about where to start if you want to become a foster parent!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">{PRAY}</span> <span style="font-size: small;">Foster care is not for everyone. Seek God first. Pretty please don't do it because your friends did and the kid they got was super cute.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">{ASK QUESTIONS} <span style="font-size: small;">Chances are you know someone who is or has been involved in foster care. Find a time to talk to them and ask them your questions! Granted, you may have to call them on the phone or follow them around at church as they collect all their kids, but we are passionate about what we do and want to help others get involved!</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Here are some examples:</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Who can / can't be a foster parent?</b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Here is a link to the requirements to <a href="http://dhr.alabama.gov/services/Foster_Care/Intro_Foster_Care.aspx" target="_blank">foster through DHR</a>. I know there are additional requirements with the various private agencies, but I am not aware of an actual list of those requirements. <b> </b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>I (we) work full time. Can we foster? </b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes! The State will pay for daycare for your child(ren), but only at certain daycares. Your social worker can help you or you can call the ones in your area and ask if they accept payment from "Child Care Central".</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>What about medical costs?</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Covered either by the bio parents insurance (rare) or Medicaid. Costs you nothing out of pocket. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Can I specify the ages of kids I am willing to take?</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Yes. Some private agencies will not allow you to take a child who is older than the oldest child in your home. DHR is more flexible. But with either you can specify. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>What if I take a child who becomes a danger to my other children? </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I think this is a VERY normal concern for those of us with kids already in the home. We have all heard the horror stories. If you need to have a child moved out of your home, just tell your social worker. You are under no obligation to keep a child who is putting your family in danger. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>What if I get licensed but then something comes up with my family?</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Another common concern. Simply let your social worker know that you cannot take any placements for a while. If you are with DHR they may still call you if they get in a major bind, but always put your family first and stand your ground. They will respect that.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>What about school aged kids?</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">If a child comes in to your home who is already enrolled in school, I believe you have the option to keep them at their current school or move them to the school you are zoned to. This would of course depend on many things like the length of time they will likely be with you, location etc.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>How much do foster parents get paid?</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The State will give you what is called a "board payment" (i.e. "room and board"). For the kids I have had in my home, it is typically about $400 ish a month per child. (no one ever talks about this out loud I guess for fear that we will get accused of being in it for the money.....LOL....I personally like straight answers and facts so there ya go)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Will the biological parents know where I live?</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">No. You will have someone transport the child(ren) to and from visits (if they have regular visits with family). </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Can you adopt a child from foster care?</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The goal is always reunification with family. However, sometimes that is not possible. In those cases you can adopt from foster care (more detail coming on this in a separate post). </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">{GPS}<span style="font-size: small;"> Once you have decided that the Lord is leading your family to become a foster family, you will need to take the GPS classes. There is usually an introduction week where you will get a broad view of foster care and learn if it is for you. GPS stands for "Group Preparation and Selection". I have never really understood this name, but that is neither here nor there. Here are some basics:</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Classes typically last 11 weeks (1 class introduction and then 10 classes one night a week for 3 hours totaling 30 hours training)</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">They are offered through <a href="http://lifelinechild.org/foster-care/" target="_blank">Lifeline</a>, <a href="http://www.alabamachild.org/foster-parenting/upcoming-trainings/" target="_blank">Alabama Baptist</a> and <a href="http://www.dhr.state.al.us/counties/county_select.aspx" target="_blank">DHR</a> (you will have to call your county to get info on upcoming classes)</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">They are often held at a church and usually offer childcare </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">The material for GPS is the same, no matter where you take the classes</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">The main goal of the classes is to teach you how to see fostering from the eyes of a child coming in to foster care, NOT how to change diapers etc. You will learn a LOT. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">You will complete the classes as well as get your CPR certification and fingerprints for background checks</span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i>IMPORTANT!!</i></b></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i>Once you complete GPS, your "certificate" never expires</i></b>. So if go through GPS classes today, but don't want to actually start fostering for another year, that is perfectly fine.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i>You can take GPS through ANY AGENCY and then decide who you want to get licensed with</i></b>. For example. I took my GPS classes through Alabama Baptist because they had a class at a church that was very close to my house. Then I got licensed with Shelby County DHR. </span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">{FINAL STRETCH}</span><span style="font-size: small;"> The amount of time this phase takes depends on you and your licensing agency. You will fill out lots of paperwork and have your home study and this process will look different depending on your agency. This is an example of some of the paperwork I had to do to get licensed with DHR. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Application</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-CA/N
Clearance (Child Abuse and Neglect)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Child
Desired Form</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Confidentiality
and Code of Ethics</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Criminal
History Check Application</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Discipline
Policy</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Financial
Statement</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-HIPPA
agreement</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Physical
Examination Sheet</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Immediate
Relatives Sheet</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Compliance
with Minimum Standards</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-W-9
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-CPR/First
Aid Certification</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Rabies
Certification (if you have animals)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Home
Visit</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Copy
of Automobile Insurance</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">-Copy
of Home owner’s insurance</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;">{THE BEGINNING} <span style="font-size: small;">Once you are finished with all of the training and paperwork, your journey really begins. Foster care is hard, but these kids are worth it. Each and every one is fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and being able to serve them is truly a privilege. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="woj"><sup class="versenum"> </sup><i>“Whoever welcomes one of these little children in My Name welcomes Me....." Mark 9:37</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">I hesitate to even hit publish on this post because I know there are so many more questions that could be answered and information that could be given. If you have a question, feel free to comment and I will do my best to answer it. If you have additional information from your experience, please do the same!</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Blessings,</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">jennymo </span></span> </span></div>
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<br />jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-46558431932411546012015-04-09T11:29:00.002-07:002015-04-09T11:29:57.659-07:00Foster Care Exposed: Private Agency or DHR?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
I am starting a little series on foster care.<br />
<br />
I
have blogged about it before, but not in much detail, and the more
questions I get the more I realize the need for clear and concise
answers about how the "system" works.<br />
<br />
So let's start with this question:<br />
<br />
"Should I get licensed through a private agency or through my county DHR?"<br />
<br />
Let me tell you my experience. I went through the training classes (called "GPS") to become licensed as a foster parent through a private agency. These classes are focused (as they should be) on seeing foster care from the eyes of a child entering the system.<br />
<br />
The material for GPS is the same whether you take the classes through your local DHR office or through a private agency. However, over the course of the 10 weeks of classes, we were told additional information based on the experience of the people leading the classes. Things like "we are here to protect you from DHR", "if you ever see DHR on your caller ID, don't answer it and call your social worker", bascially making DHR out to be the "bad guys".<br />
<br />
They also put a lot of emphasis on the fact that if I put on my paperwork that I could only take 1 child under the age of 2 (for example) that they would NEVER call me for anything outside of that. So hypothetically if a child that was 2 1/2 came in to care, I would not get that call. <br />
<br />
They also told us that we would receive a higher board payment (the $ you receive for each child for food, clothing, housing etc) with this private agency than we would through DHR.<br />
<br />
<i>What we weren't told are the practical differences between fostering through a private agency vs. directly through DHR. Things that I would have liked to have known. </i><br />
<br />
I ASSUMED, that when they said we would never get calls in the middle of the night, that meant that the private agency was fielding those calls for us. Not true. They don't take calls after 5pm or on weekends. That is just one example.<br />
<br />
<i>Now let me pause here and BE VERY CLEAR: We need the private agencies. They take a GREAT burden off the State simply by providing so many options for training, not to mention the many many kids who have found safe and loving Christian homes through the services they provide. </i><br />
<br />
My purpose with this particular post is very simple:<br />
<br />
1. People should know the differences in private vs. state when they decide to pursue foster care<br />
<br />
2. I want more people to understand the great need for more families to choose to foster through the State. Why?<br />
<br />
Right now in Shelby County we have 28 foster families.<br />
<br />
I don't know how many families the private agencies have. But I do know, that of those 28 families, all but maybe 2 are FULL as of right now.<br />
<br />
<i>That means that when those middle of the night or weekend calls come, those kids have to be placed with families that are already at or over their max, and sometimes they have to spend the night at DHR. </i><br />
<br />
The next morning, the private agencies are contacted and if they accept the placement, the kids are moved to a private agency home. But, unlike DHR (who has to care for every child who comes in no matter what) the private agencies have the right to choose which placements they take based on anything from: size of sibling group/ any special needs involved/ how complicated the case is legally/ whether the placement will be long or short term/ what they deem to be best for their foster families etc.<br />
<br />
Here are some of the facts:<br />
<br />
Differences in Private vs. DHR for Foster FAMILIES:<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
Differences in Private vs. DHR for Foster KIDS:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
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<br />
So, if you are considering foster care or are currently in GPS classes, now you know the facts (at least the ones that I know). God will lead many of you to get your license through a private agency and that is awesome! But those of us who are in Shelby County are really praying that some of you will decide to get your license with the State : ) <br />
<br />
*side note: you can take classes with a private agency and get licensed by DHR and vice versa<br />
<br />
I know that this post will likely tick some people off but please understand, I do not consider myself to be an expert in this arena so if I said something that isn't true, by all means let me know. But, when God lays something on my heart, I will advocate for it in any way I can.<br />
<br />
And remember that underneath all the facts are the children who come in to foster care....and God has called us to care for them. <br />
<br />
Blessings,<br />
<br />
jennymo<br />
<br />jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-35123038383874548302015-03-12T09:00:00.003-07:002015-03-12T09:00:37.699-07:00Church: we are overlooking the overlooked<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Question: How many foster families thru DHR in Shelby County, AL are available and willing to take children with special needs? Just take a guess......<br />
<br />
Answer: One. And it is me.<br />
<br />
Church, that is a problem. A BIG BIG problem.<br />
<br />
I know what you are already thinking...."foster care is hard enough I just don't think I could handle a child with special needs"...."this is just not what I am called to do"....."i have enough on my plate already"..... "these kids should go to someone with a medical background"....and on and on it goes.<br />
<br />
Let me give you the facts. When a child with special needs comes in to foster care, their county DHR office searches their database and typically they find no where to place the child.....especially in the smaller counties. No one who has said "I desire to care for this type of child". The county will then contact private agencies like Lifeline and Alabama Baptist but they rarely have families that will take kids with special needs. <i>Side note: if you are a private agency foster family you would have to specifically request to be contacted about children with special needs, otherwise you will never hear about them.</i> <br />
<br />
At this point DHR will send out a statewide email to all the counties in the State. This is the last ditch effort so to speak before the child ends up elsewhere. And by elsewhere I mean living in a hospital for their whole lives. Or a group home. Or a nursing home.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Zee was a statewide email baby. I won't even let myself imagine where he would be right now if I had said no.</i></b><br />
<br />
So my challenge to the church is simple. We need more people to step up and care for these kids. They are right here under our noses and we can't ignore them. <br />
<br />
We can't simply sign up to be foster parents to the cute cuddly shiny new babies and toddlers and feel like we are doing all we can. Shouldn't we let God tell us which children he wants us to care for?
<br />
<br />
Just take a look at this "Child Desired" form. I imagine when most people fill this out, they are simply overwhelmed by the idea of bringing a child in to their home who will someday leave. And I imagine because of that reason alone, many families think they just couldn't handle a child with special needs. I get it. Trust me. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>But my mind says...what if I had to measure up to a form to have God DESIRE ME. </b></i></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Ps-40-1">I waited patiently for the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>;</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> H</span><span class="text Ps-40-1">e turned to me and heard my cry.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-40-2" id="en-NIV-14528">He lifted me out of the slimy pit,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-2">out of the mud and mire;</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-40-2">He set my feet on a rock</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-2">and gave me a firm place to stand.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-40-3" id="en-NIV-14529">He put a new song in my mouth,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-3">a hymn of praise to our God.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-40-3">Many will see and fear the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-3">and put their trust in Him.</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-3">Psalm 40:1-3 </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(This form has since been updated because a certain person got on the phone with the people who made the form and told them that is was ridiculous and offensive and they needed to change it. Halleluier. ) </i></span></div>
<span class="text Ps-40-1"> </span><br />
<br />
If you are in process to become a foster parent, please consider opening
your heart to the least of these! If you are a seasoned foster parent,
consider updating your child desired form! <br />
<br />
<br />
I know. This is not for everyone. But it is for me, and I will continue to advocate for these kids....because THEY will bless YOU more than you can ever imagine.<br />
<br />
Blessings,<br />
<br />
jennymojennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-75998958079850390592015-03-03T12:25:00.000-08:002015-03-03T12:59:37.574-08:00To my ex-friends: I know you think I am crazyI had the opportunity to speak to a group of single moms at a Foster Care retreat recently. I knew going in to it the "gist" of what I was going to talk about, but I didn't think about it too much because I knew the group would be small and I wanted it to feel more like a conversation instead of a "speech".<br />
<br />
As I went through my single mom story, we started talking about how, as single foster moms, many people think we are crazy. They think we are not whole or equipped enough to do a job like this on our own. Then I said something I didn't expect. I began to talk about all of the "Christian" friends from my past who I had lost along the way because of this journey.<br />
<br />
I knew that this was the case, but I guess I never really said it out loud before, and certainly not out loud to a room full of strangers. And it stung. A lot.<br />
<br />
But the sad reality is, they just don't get it. We haven't always seen eye to eye, and over the years I have become more and more crazy, and they have become more and more...the same.<br />
<br />
Jojo wasn't too big of a shock, because he was a newborn. And white. And although he has Down syndrome, he didn't have any major medical issues so he just appears to be a "normal" baby.<br />
<br />
The 2 school age boys we took in for 10 weeks was pushing it. Why would I want to do this? Why add stress on myself and my "own kids"?<br />
<br />
Then came Zee. He is just a whole situation as far as "they" are concerned. He has tubes running out of him for goodness sake. I think that was the nail in our friendship coffin. I was way overwhelmed when Zee came home. Way a lot. And you know what? My true friends were there for me with diapers and meals and prayers and support even from far away. And you know where my "church friends" were? No where to be found.<br />
<br />
I think maybe they are under the impression that I am just trying to get attention.<br />
<br />
<i>Let me be clear: if I wanted attention, I would become a stripper. Not take on a medically fragile foster child on a ventilator. I barely leave the house now for craps sake.</i><br />
<br />
However, I can see why they think I am crazy. I would have thought the same thing not too many years ago....I am so grateful I allowed God to take hold of my life and open my eyes. But I have come to a conclusion. It's not me. It's them. Let me tell you what I think is crazy:<br />
<br />
People who put on the same fancy clothes and go sit in the same building 1-2 times a week. They stand. They sit. They stand. They sit. They hear a message. They worship GOD. The Holy God of the UNIVERSE....and they somehow manage to leave week after week....totally unchanged. Their lives stay the same. Aside from the fact that they attend church, they look just like the world. THAT is what I think is crazy.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-6-46"><span class="woj">“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?</span></span><span class="text Luke-6-47" id="en-ESV-25185"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum"> </sup><span style="color: red;"><b><i>Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them</i></b></span>, I will show you what he is like:</span></span> <span class="text Luke-6-48" id="en-ESV-25186"><span class="woj">he
is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on
the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house
and could not shake it, because it had been well built.</span></span><span class="text Luke-6-49" id="en-ESV-25187"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum"> </sup><span style="color: red;"><i><b>But
the one who hears and does not do them</b></i></span> is like a man who built a house
on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it,
immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.” Luke 6:46-49</span></span><br />
<span class="text Luke-6-49" id="en-ESV-25187"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
<span class="text Luke-6-49" id="en-ESV-25187"><span class="woj">I choose to have a crazy house on a firm foundation. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-6-49" id="en-ESV-25187"><span class="woj">I pray more Christians would stand up and be crazy with me. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Luke-6-49" id="en-ESV-25187"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
<span class="text Luke-6-49" id="en-ESV-25187"><span class="woj">Blessings,</span></span><br />
<span class="text Luke-6-49" id="en-ESV-25187"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
<span class="text Luke-6-49" id="en-ESV-25187"><span class="woj">Jenny</span></span><br />
<span class="text Luke-6-49" id="en-ESV-25187"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<br />jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-63839691499873390652014-12-20T17:12:00.001-08:002014-12-20T17:12:39.977-08:00A Merry Christmas update from our little family<span style="font-size: small;">I have never done a Christmas newsletter, blog, update etc....but I had the bright idea to make my bigs write an update about their year and it turned out to be pretty adorable (complete with their own fonts, colors and formatting which is making me a wee bit cray but
they insisted I leave it)! Plus, we added a whole new person to the family so I figured lots of people would get our Christmas card and think...what!?!?!? So, here it goes!</span><br />
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: "Britannic Bold",sans-serif; font-size: 24.0pt;">MY
YEAR IN 2014</span></div>
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<span style="color: lime; font-family: "Britannic Bold",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt;">AIDAN:</span></div>
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<span style="color: lime; font-family: "Britannic Bold",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt;">I
had a good year in 2014. I fell like I showed respect to other people and got
more in to football. I felt good about getting baptized and how Christ became
my savior. It took me along time to decide if I should get baptized or not. The
two foster kids we had were pretty fun and happy. I made the competitive soccer
league and my dad posted it to over 3,000 people on twitter. I had good grades
this year in school. My whole life changed to a better life</span><span style="font-family: "Britannic Bold",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt;">.</span></div>
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: "Britannic Bold",sans-serif; font-size: 26.0pt;">THE
END <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: navy; font-family: "Britannic Bold",sans-serif; font-size: 26.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">(you can see the video of his baptism <a href="http://www.momsyndrome.com/2014/09/stuff-what-kids-say-aidans-baptism.html" target="_blank">here</a> <span style="color: navy;">)</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "Britannic Bold",sans-serif; font-size: 24.0pt;"> MY YEAR IN 2014</span></div>
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Britannic Bold",sans-serif; font-size: 20.0pt;">Ella MAE:</span></div>
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Britannic Bold",sans-serif; font-size: 20.0pt;">I
have 3 brothrs. Aidan is 10, Jojo is 18 months and Baby Zee is 11 months. I
also have 2 pets. One is a dog named Zachy and one is a cat named Fudge. We
used to have 2 foster kids at our house and that made 5 kids in our house. And
1 mom. The foster kids were 5 and 9. They went to live with another family
because Baby Zee was coming home. :-(</span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 20.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Britannic Bold"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Britannic Bold"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"></span></span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Britannic Bold",sans-serif; font-size: 20.0pt;">
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Britannic Bold",sans-serif; font-size: 20.0pt;">I
am in 2<sup>nd</sup> grade now and I am 7. I love Science, Art and Music. I
love to help my mom with the babies. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Jojo</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Oh my goodness this baby. How could he have turned ONE this year?? He is spoiled ROTTEN (I solely blame his Papa). He has finally given up the army crawl and now switches back and forth from one knee and one foot, to normal crawling on all fours. He had some trouble with trying and actually consuming new solid foods, but we worked hard on that and now he eats like a little piggy. Just don't give him more than one thing at a time or he will throw all but one in the floor! He is ALMOST ready to walk...watch out world!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Baby Zee</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">This guy.....he has literally turned our house upside down this year! Shortly after Jojo's 1st birthday, I felt like the Lord was leading me to finish up my foster care licensing (which was originally interrupted by Jojo's adoption!) JUST IN CASE there was ever a child locally that had special needs and was therefor difficult to place. JUST IN CASE. Well, I have learned about God and His sense of humor so I should have know that this wasn't a "just in case" situation! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I finalized my licensing on a Friday, and got "the call" about Baby Zee the following Monday! He was 8 months old at the time and has Down syndrome, along with a whole bunch of medical issues including being on a trach and a ventilator. I met him in late July and committed to bring him home when he was ready. The original plan was that he would be weaned off the ventilator before he came home, but he had some complications and that was no longer possible. As my parents and I began to think through the reality that we were bringing home a medically fragile child who would require quite a lot of machines and constant monitoring, we realized that it wasn't really going to work out for him to sleep upstairs where the kids and I have always been. SO, we decided to finish off the basement! My parents now have their own bedroom and living room downstairs, and Zee and I have taken over their room.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I can't say enough about how great my parents have been through all of this. My mom and I went through 4 weeks of training at the hospital to learn how to care for Zee. Not to mention the cost of the re-model, Papa having to pick up our slack at work etc....I am so blessed and LITERALLY could not do any of this without them!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Zee is doing so well at home! He is getting stronger and happier each day. The plan at this point is for him to have heart surgery at 18 months and hopefully then we will be able to wean him off the vent. Please pray for his health and for all of us as we adjust to this new normal!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Me</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">This year has been awesomely crazy! Between the time I committed to Zee and the time he came home, we had 2 other boys (ages 5 and 9) who stayed with us for about 10 weeks. It was our first foster care placement, and God taught us all a lot during that time! Those sweet boys have moved on to a more permanent home, but we still get to see them often and they will always hold a special place in my heart!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">So, I have spent this year doing what I always wanted to do....being a mommy. Most days I lay my head down totally worn slap out, but in a totally good, God you have me right where you want me and this is what I was always meant to do, kind of way.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Jenny and kids </span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-74070140680356368612014-09-09T11:54:00.001-07:002014-09-09T11:54:03.990-07:00Jojo's 1st year. There are some things you need to know....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQwAAKxLAF1eqY7pbShhldU8VkvMz6mxkSyu3XmXpOjcLUNEv5MBKjlZZBqzrBd3JuaQtKfAp4uqy_79j5bFi6pqx9JCykUg3rmEk7_IMQAOpMIiHKr9vAe9N0JF3wEtbfDks-PhqWoIc/s1600/Jojo+1+year.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQwAAKxLAF1eqY7pbShhldU8VkvMz6mxkSyu3XmXpOjcLUNEv5MBKjlZZBqzrBd3JuaQtKfAp4uqy_79j5bFi6pqx9JCykUg3rmEk7_IMQAOpMIiHKr9vAe9N0JF3wEtbfDks-PhqWoIc/s1600/Jojo+1+year.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
Jojo had an amazing year!<br />
<br />
We
have said time and again that we can't remember a time when he was not a
part of our family. He just fits and we are all so in love with him!<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Expecting a baby with Down syndrome?</span> </b><br />
<br />
One
of the biggest challenges of having a baby with Down syndrome is
working with them to meet their milestones. Things that "typical" babies
do naturally don't happen as easily for our babies. We have to work for
them. So, for those expecting a baby with Down syndrome, or thinking of
adopting, I thought I would share some of Jojo's first year milestones
with you.<br />
<br />
9 weeks-<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmJkCITP-co"> rolls over</a> <br />
3 months-bringing hands to mid line
<br />
4 months-<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMuDzA1m60I">ate first solid food </a>and started sleeping through the night<br />
6 months- started sitting up in a propped position and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4fJpCoTMyA">learned to hold his own bottle</a><br />
7 months- sitting up without being propped<br />
10 months- <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GOL1gvg8hc">started pulling up</a> <br />
10 1/2 month- <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t69pbokWE4">finally figured out how to crawl</a>! <br />
1 year- army crawling all over the house!<br />
<br />
Of
course those are just the broad strokes, and every baby is different,
but you may notice that he really isn't behind at all! That is because
we go to therapy twice a week, and work on his goals at home. Another
contributing factor is that he hasn't had any major health problems,
which does set many babies back.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Considering adopting a child with special needs domestically?</span></b><br />
<br />
These are the things "they" don't tell you.<br />
<br />
They
may not sound like a big deal to some people, but to me they were HUGE
so I wanted to share just in case it could help someone else.<br />
<br />
I
was actually in the process of finishing my foster care licensing when I
got chosen to be Jojo's mom. I had only 2 months to get my home study
done, lots of paperwork filled out, and lots of money raised! So I
really didn't have time to ask a lot of questions. But, if I had been in
a position where I was considering adopting a child with special needs
from the US, these are the things I would have wanted someone to tell
me:<br />
<br />
-If you are a foster parent to a child, and that
child cannot be re-united with family, you can adopt them. And it is
FREE. Free. (this goes for non special needs kids too)<br />
<br />
-When
you adopt a child with any special need (emotional, behavioral,
physical etc) from the US, you qualify for an adoption subsidy from your
State. You can learn more about what your state offers <a href="http://www.nacac.org/adoptionsubsidy/stateprofiles.html">here</a>. <i>Let me be clear, this amount of money will not make you rich lol but it is helpful when paying for therapies etc.</i><br />
<br />
-Adopted
children who have special needs and many kids who are adopted from
foster care get FREE insurance. Like as in I pay nothing for Jojo's
health care. Free.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>*Disclaimer: this
is clearly not an exhaustive list of all the things you should know. I
am also NOT suggesting that these things should motivate anyone to
pursue adopting a child with special needs. That would be cray. No
representation is made that the quality of adoption advice by me is
better than the quality of adoption advice from others. Some exclusions
may apply. Tax, title and tag not included. </i></span><br />
<br />
This
I know to be true: Jojo has forever changed us all. He blesses people
in ways I would have never imagined. People tell me ALL THE TIME that
just seeing pictures of him makes their day. He it truly a blessing to
many!! <br />
<br />
This kid is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.<br />
<br />
If
you are considering adoption or just want to have your day made, watch
this video. It will shed some light on what "special needs" REALLY means
when it comes to adoption! I am proud to have had a part in making it,
my kids are in it, and Aidan is the narrator!<br />
<br />
Blessings!<br />
<br />
jennymo <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="//player.vimeo.com/video/80797165" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe> <br />
<a href="http://vimeo.com/80797165">Project Hopeful: Adoption is Redemption</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/lanternvision">Lantern Vision</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5307033994734368284.post-85290357265488162722014-05-07T18:34:00.000-07:002014-05-07T18:34:42.759-07:00Dear Birth Mom, Happy Mothers Day.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkaWohHvQDO-HgoNIzIiiPCPFaXWTb3Fl6FzUREgnLItCxU_DZBhjb8o8-0GfRYrc024dBwPeHnVr0R3o1OPFMsLjotY4_SeWp75KpvL5i2uXkDEaWCzLCjnXpkIZO-uFmv3kTeCk_Vgpu/s1600/20130620_200845+blur.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkaWohHvQDO-HgoNIzIiiPCPFaXWTb3Fl6FzUREgnLItCxU_DZBhjb8o8-0GfRYrc024dBwPeHnVr0R3o1OPFMsLjotY4_SeWp75KpvL5i2uXkDEaWCzLCjnXpkIZO-uFmv3kTeCk_Vgpu/s1600/20130620_200845+blur.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I am the one who changes his diapers.<br />
<br />
I take him to therapy,<br />
to help him build his strength.<br />
<br />
I wipe his snotty nose and take<br />
him to the doctor when he is sick.<br />
<br />
I get up with him in the middle of the night.<br />
<br />
I make the bottles, wash the bottles<br />
and repeat over and over again.<br />
<br />
I have the distinct privilege of watching him<br />
grow every single day.<br />
<br />
I will love him all the days of my life.<br />
<br />
But you.....<br />
<br />
You gave him life.<br />
<br />
You made a choice that many<br />
would never be brave enough to make.<br />
<br />
You made a choice that many do not make.<br />
<br />
You gave him life.<br />
<br />
You made the most selfless sacrifice<br />
that any person can make.<br />
<br />
You chose him above yourself.<br />
<br />
For that I will be eternally grateful.<br />
<br />
You are a hero in my eyes and in the eyes<br />
of everyone who meets him.<br />
<br />
He is a little world changer, and that would not<br />
be possible without you.<br />
<br />
I pray every day that my life, your life, and his<br />
life will bring Glory to God.<br />
<br />
You made a difference.<br />
<br />
You gave him life! <br />
<br />
Happy Mothers Day!<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijuXLkvZOHRiiDCENlRSp9T7mEG-NfESKUkNE-5lIRgOs3Vk0bfPtA909AZ_cjR883kWZRDgY_bCqBImmu1wBF20dbboPoUyHdB5pxxuYQEmJYh7IL8T5Dy5kDWU0Q8ev-FIpwxdDJJuXZ/s1600/10153857_10203243458034836_7292525768702408677_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijuXLkvZOHRiiDCENlRSp9T7mEG-NfESKUkNE-5lIRgOs3Vk0bfPtA909AZ_cjR883kWZRDgY_bCqBImmu1wBF20dbboPoUyHdB5pxxuYQEmJYh7IL8T5Dy5kDWU0Q8ev-FIpwxdDJJuXZ/s1600/10153857_10203243458034836_7292525768702408677_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
<br />
Jenny and Jojo<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />jennymohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17067569775121493935noreply@blogger.com0