Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I ABHOR running.....to the Chicago Half Marathon I go!

(I know this is a lot right after the post on China! If you are looking for that post, click here)


Regard with disgust and hatred.
detest - loathe - abominate - execrate - despise

I ABHOR running.

I don't even like people who like to run. They make me mad because it makes no sense to me. The girl on the tampon box who is running....can't stand her. People who post on Facebook "had a great 6 mile run at 5am this morning!"....I want to drive to their house and push them down on the floor. You know those stickers that have the kid peeing on various things? I think those stickers are terrible, BUT if they had one of the kid peeing on someone who is running and liking it, I would seriously consider buying it. Just being real folks.

I just don't get it....never have. All of the 5K's, 10K's, marathons, tri-athalons.....and to top it all off....wait for it......THEY PAY GOOD MONEY TO DO IT. I imagine the sign up process for such events goes something like this: "Hello, my name is ___________. Would you mind if I gave you $_____ so that I can travel to ____________ and run a really far way, get very sweaty, likely injure myself and possibly die? Yes? Oh thank you!"

So imagine my frustration when 2 friends asked me to join the Project Hopeful team to do the Chicago HALF MARATHON.......................and I actually started to consider doing it.

I guess God is funny that way because He tends to call us to do things that are out of our comfort zone. I think He is really trying to make a point with ME on this one though because it is WAAAAAAYYYYYY out of my comfort zone......but so is the trip I am going on to China this summer.....hmmmmmmmmm.

And all of a sudden, everywhere I looked I saw those stupid 13.1 stickers on seemingly everyone's cars (I can't stand those stickers....forgot to say that one). People started making running analogies. My own child said "mommy let's go run on that track over there....bet I can beat you!" followed by a 5K WALK we had signed up for in which he wanted to ride his bike....and I had to.....run to keep up with him. THEN, Ella Mae and I went on a walk to a lake (probably a half mile) to find a turtle. Upon finding the turtle a loud clap of thunder and lightning went off out of NOWHERE on the other side of the lake and it started to pour. Ella Mae screamed, cried and RAN towards the car all in one second. Of course I had to grab her bike, the turtle (I'm not going to abandon a perfectly good pet turtle) and RUN all the way back to the car in pursuit of my child. That was the kicker and I got the message. Actually I think I may have yelled out "OK! I GOT THE MESSAGE" while running back to my car. Yeah I did.

I feel God leading me to this, but I have been arguing about it. Unfortunately for me, there is a 70 year old woman on the team and one of my BFF's is a pretty serious diabetic so none of my arguments are holding up.

But I do have some questions about running:

-Is it normal to feel like you are going to wet your pants while running?
-The panties that are built in to running shorts: do people really NOT wear actual underwear under the built in underwear?!?!
-What am I supposed to do with my car keys!?!
-Do you really have to go to specialty stores and buy fancy runner shoes to run? Why can't you just buy shoes from a normal store like normal humans do!?! (already answered this one with my test run. Yes you need the fancy shoes or you will pull your Achilles tendon. Ask me how I know.)
-You know that person that finishes last in these races so the other people don't feel bad? What does that job pay and how do you apply?
-What do I do with my arms?
-How do I know what I look like when I am running? What if it is hideous?

Since I had a couple of random run in's with running (ha!) I decided I needed to have an intentional one, that didn't involve children, just to see if I would die or not. So last week I went out to Veterans park and ran the 5K trail. For the record: a 5K gravel trail with the wrong shoes on is NOT a good starting point. It didn't go well, and I did pull my Achilles tendon (didn't even know you could injure that part of your body) but I finished it in about 33 minutes and I didn't die. Here is a lovely video I made just to prove to myself that it actually happened:

Yes I watched some YouTube videos to try to learn how to run. Yes the video is sideways. Yes I went straight to McDonald's.

I am going to do the Half Marathon in September. Not because I want to but because God wants me to. And when God wants you to do something and you don't do it, you end up getting swallowed by a large fish. That's in the Bible.

I will be running (that sounds so weird) on TEAM TRUTH with Project Hopeful. They ask all team members to raise $1,000 to go towards their general fund to continue to assist families who adopt children who are HIV+, raise awareness and continue to spread the TRUTH. My goal is to double that. I currently have 638 friends (who are all of these people?) on Facebook. If 100 of my Facebook friends give me $20 then my goal is met....and I will not die at the Chicago Half Marathon in vain. :)

Every orphaned child hopes for a family and a home. The reality for many children with HIV/AIDS and other special needs is that the chances of having that dream materialize are slim. That is why I am doing this!


So here is how I see this thing: If a person like me, who clearly abhors the very idea of running, can actually accomplish a half marathon, then HOPEFULLY that will make a big impact on the people who know me. And HOPEFULLY those people will support PROJECT HOPEFUL which will make a big impact on the special children and families they advocate so diligently for. We are changing lives here people!

That was a very nice way of saying, give me $20 or I will call you out publicly.

If you would like to donate now click on our team logo above and donate via PayPal by clicking on my button!

(Trust me, as soon as I get un-injured and really start to train for this thing you will be hearing MUCH MORE about it!)




  1. Ok this post totally made me want to give you money. So I am donating to you. Plus I enjoy following the comments between you and Tesney on facebook. Just promise me that somehow a unicorn will be invovled.

  2. Omg. TOTALLY donating now. You are hysterical. And, "Mom of three year old" there WILL be unicorns. :)

  3. "And when God wants you to do something and you don't do it, you end up getting swallowed by a large fish. That's in the Bible. "

    Love this!

    You can do it! Join the B-ham Track Club and run with them. They have people at all pace groups. Running with people will make training sooo much easier!

    It'll be worth it, not just the fundraising, but race day is TONS of fun! Enjoy!

  4. Okay, so I was reading a blog I regularly read and she recommended some links. Her blog is out of Texas. I clicked on one, read the post about a family who adopted a child with HIV, you commented, saw your profile name, JennyMo, and thought I see her van in carpool line. My son goes to preschool with your daughter, I guess. I thought that was neat. And had to share. I've clicked through your blog. You look like a cool Jesus lover. :) I don't know maybe God is up to something. Especially intrigued about your Uganda trip. God's been repeating that word to me over and over. Anyhoo, I wanted to say hello. So hello. My blog is http://wwww.brownpaperandstrings.com. Stop on by.