Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Singlesness Part Two- Patience in the Waiting

Proposal. Wedding. Bridesmaids. Groomsmen. Gorgeous pictures. THE dress. Bouquets. The ring. The cake. The honeymoon. The sex. It is what marriage is all about right? 

Or, is it possible, that marriage isn't about any of those things? Is it possible that marriage isn't about a wedding at all? Hmmmm......

A wedding is not a marriage. A honeymoon is not a marriage. A marriage is very simply about 2 people, who love God and each other, carrying out God's Biblical plan for His people. It is wholly about honoring God. Two people, serving each other for their lives in order to glorify God. Marriage is about holiness before happiness.

Can you honor God if you are not married? Absolutely. Can we be happy if we are not married? Of course! So then WHY are we as a culture so unsatisfied with singleness?

I know so many people who are so desperate for the "stuff" that the world tells us marriage is all about. They have a place in their heart and their lives that is so very empty and they need something to fill that empty space. Whether they have never been married, or are divorced and feel an extreme need for that type of companionship to be replaced in their lives, their lives declare that they want something the do not have. Something they feel that they NEED in order to be HAPPY.


We are told from the time we are young that we are supposed to grow up, get married, have babies and live happily ever after. I would imagine just about anyone who is "grown up" can tell you that it is just not that simple. Believe me. It's not.

So what do we do when we find ourselves single, but we don't want to be? 

I am a pretty good example of what not to do. I wanted all of the stuff. Mainly the kids. I have always wanted to be a mom....I just knew from an early age that I was made for it. So, I chose a husband based on what I wanted out of the union, not what God wanted or planned. Any marriage that starts with selfishness rather than godliness is likely doomed. I put what I wanted for myself in front of what I knew God wanted for me.

So friends, I beg you to guard your hearts and your words. Satan is always looking for a way in to our lives and if it is clear that there is something that we want but don't have, he will use that to tempt us away from God. He will use that to say that it is ok to date a guy who isn't a Christ follower but at least he goes to church. He will tell us that it is fine to go from one woman to the next in order to constantly keep that empty space filled. He will tell us that it is no big deal to post on Facebook how much we are in love with someone we just met, or to constantly make sure that everyone knows you are on the hunt for a new person to fill the void in your life.....

We all have empty places, but they all can be filled with a deep love for our Savior. The Bible does not command us to get happy, but it does command us to be holy. To be Christ like. I have learned so much of this the hard way, and I wish so many people could learn lessons from the mistakes of others, rather than by making the same mistakes themselves. Divorce is so prevalent in this society, and it hurts so many. If we all could be content with the place God has us in our lives, whether it is what we WANT or not, I think there would be so much less pain and destruction in our culture due to failed relationships.   

Be glad in the waiting. The Bible is filled with people who were made to wait...poor Israelites...that is ALL they did was wander around and wait. The Lord annointed David as king, but then sent him right back out to the feilds to wait until it was the right time.....like 20 years he spent waiting. It is very likely that God is preparing us in the waiting. Whether it be for the perfect "someone" to come along, or whether He has other plans for your life.......we can always trust that His plans are better than ours.



1 comment:

  1. Thanks for this, Jenny... I do think it is hard, as a single woman, to let go of some of those dreams including of the wedding (about which we all dream) even understanding it's not about the wedding. :) Thanks for sharing your heart and being real.