Jojo's Story Part 2: The NICU

{click here for Part 1 of Jojo's story}

I never thought I would be a mom with a child in the NICU. Having delivered two healthy 8 pound babies, and having no plans to adopt a newborn, the thought had never crossed my mind. But God.....

After Jojo's safe and healthy delivery, I really thought we might not need a stay in the NICU. I knew he would spend a lot of time in the nursery due to the circumstances of the adoption, but was very hopeful that he would be released shortly after T. I was prepared for some sort of heart issue (which is very typical in children with Down syndrome), but when they quickly ruled out any major issues, I assumed we were good to go!

The nurses discovered during the first night after Jojo was born that he was what is called a "poor feeder". This simply means that he needed a little time to get the hang of breathing, sucking and swallowing all at the same time. Sounded like no big deal to me.

If I had to describe a stay in the NICU in one word it would be "uncertainty". I know many of you have been there. For those of you who know me, you know I am a planner, and I don't do well with uncertainties! I especially don't do well with uncertainties when I am with my kids, in a another state, away from home. From day one until the day we were released, moment to moment, I was literally never sure of anything.

How long would he need to stay? A doctor would estimate two more days and an hour later a nurse would guess a week. Babies in the NICU change so often, and each and every time I rang the bell, washed my hands, and turned the corner I never knew what I would see. Would he be better? Worse? The same? Would the birth mom be in there holding him? Will his crib be closed (meaning he isn't keeping his temp up on his own) or will it be open?  Is that my baby's monitor beeping or someone elses? Have they moved him to a different spot? That is a great way to freak a new mommy out by the way!

We were staying in a hotel (which is expensive), driving a rental car (which is expensive) and eating out for every meal (adds up fast). First and foremost I wanted Jojo to be healthy, but second I wanted to be able to have a PLAN.

June 21-first morning in NICU-no tubes

By the time we got to hold him he had a tube in his mouth

After 48 hours he was officially ours!

Me and "my" sweet L and D nurse Nicole

By the 3rd day he had to work on his tan under the Bili lights
(one of my fav NICU pics-holding sisters hand)

 

Tube moved to his nose

 

So, we spent the first few days at the hospital in the mornings, then back to the hotel to give the kids a break, then back to the hospital in the afternoon. I spent A LOT of time feeling like I needed to be in 3 places at once. I couldn't just turn my back on T after everything she had been through (she had NO ONE else there for her), but I wanted to focus all my time on my new baby, and also not ignore Aidan and Ella Mae. It wasn't an easy balance.

The law requires that the birth mother (or parents) have 48 hours before they can sign over their parental rights. So Saturday evening, we all headed up to the hospital to meet the social worker and be there in case we were needed. It was a tough night. T had a family member that was supposed to be there for her while she signed the papers, but they were a no show. I felt so terrible for her. Of course, I wanted her to sign the papers with no issue, but as a mom I couldn't even begin to fathom what she was feeling. Mothers who give their children up for adoption are the strongest people in the world as far as I am concerned. To carry and deliver a child, and then make the choice to do what is best for that child, and walk away from the hospital empty handed.....I can literally not imagine. She will always be my hero.

The social worker needed two people to witness the signing of the papers, and they had to be people who were in no way affiliated with the hospital for legal reasons. She asked my mom if she would witness and of course she said yes. The kids and I waited in the waiting room and I think I held my breath the entire time. My mom realized in the moment, that since she was also adopted as an infant, her birth parents likely had to go through a similar process to give her the gift of a family that could raise her well. It was a very emotional night for all of us. I doubt I will ever again experience a time in my life when I felt such joy and such sadness all in the same moment.

Once the papers were signed and T was released, things got a little easier for me. It also became clear that Jojo was not going to be released as soon as we had hoped, and that we were definitely going to be in Texas for a while. So decisions had to be made.

Emmy decided it was best for her to go ahead and travel back on Monday to take care of things at home. My amazing friend Tesney was planning to drive to Houston to see Jojo on Monday as well, so it felt like the right time to transition from the hotel to stay with friends. The only problem was, the hotel was 10 minutes from the hospital and my ever changing baby, and our friends house was about 30 minutes away. To say this caused me a little anxiety would be a HUGE understatement. Huge.

Staying in a hotel for only God knows how long and paying for a rental car as well was just not an option. Tesney and the friends we were going to stay with have an AMAZING connection (you can read more about that here), but they had never met in person. I had never met the Eichers in person either.....but we took the leap of faith that all would be fine, and on Monday morning we loaded up the car and headed from Sugar Land to Houston!

{Part 3: "Our Texas Family" coming soon!}

 Blessings!

jennymo

Jojo's Story Part 1: The Birth

June 19th: I hadn't heard from the birth mom in over a month, and needless to say I was slightly stressed with all of the uncertainties. But, finally the call came! The OB had decided that the baby wasn't growing well and labor needed to be induced. So, around noon we got the official word that is was go time, and we hopped on a plane at 4:30 that afternoon!

The birth mom {I will call her "T"} was admitted to the hospital at 6pm, and we arrived in Houston a couple of hours later. The drive to Sugar Land proved to be quite adventurous since it was dark and we had never experienced the "frontage road" system. In case you have never experienced it, they have highways that run right along the side of their highways. Lots of U turns. Very confusing. Not to mention that my cell phone battery was dead so GPS to the hotel was not an option. But, we finally found it and settled in for the night. Of course, I didn't sleep a wink.

I had called the hospital the day before, simply to let the staff on the L&D floor know that we were coming, the situation etc. I have to be honest, I sort of expected it would all turn out like a Lifetime movie where they gave us a room next door to T, the baby would be born, come to our room to stay etc. That was not the case. I was informed (and rightly so) that I had zero rights aside from what T wanted. She was delivering the baby and the mom and baby were their priority as far as the nurses were concerned.

So on Thursday morning I left my mom and the kids at the hotel to rest and swim while I headed to the hospital bright and early, a bundle of nerves and excitement. I arrived on the L&D floor, signed in, and went back to greet the nurses, let them know I was there, and available IF T wanted to see me when she woke up.

I went back to the small waiting room and furiously crocheted away on Jojo's not yet finished blanket while I waited. Not too long after, T's OB doctor came out to the waiting room to talk to me. I assumed she had bad news of some sort, or that she was coming to tell me that T wasn't ready to see me, I couldn't be there etc. Much to my surprise, she was simply coming to introduce herself to me, and give me an update on how the baby was doing. I was simply floored by her kindness. We talked for a little while and then she said T was awake and ready to see me when I was ready.

I took a few deep breaths and made my way down the hall where I was greeted by Nicole. She introduced herself to me and said with a smile "I will be your Labor and Delivery nurse". She will likely never know how much those words meant to me in that moment.All of a sudden I was overwhelmed with gratitude, a sense of belonging, and a sense of empty handedness. How could I walk in to that room, and meet face to face with the woman who was about to spend hours laboring to bring my baby in to this world empty handed? I nervously hugged Nicole, told her I loved her for being so awesome, and said I would run to the store and be right back.

You know how dads act when their wives are about to go through immense pain and hard work to bring their children into this world, and they can do NOTHING to help? I know how that feels now. I went to the store and bought flowers for T, Nicole, and the doctor! If they would have had packs of blue bubble gum cigars I would have bought those too and handed them out to strangers.

I arrived back at the hospital, flowers in hand, ready to meet T. Or at least as ready as I would ever be. I walked in to the room, set down the flowers, and went straight to my job of making sure she was as comfortable as possible. We were immediately at ease with each other.

She was in a good bit of discomfort (obviously), so we talked through the pain. I got her more ice chips, requested some pain meds, adjusted her pillows and our relationship was off and running. It soon became clear to me that I was the only one that would be there that day for her. To hold her hair back when she got sick. To make sure she was a comfortable as possible. To do the things that family is supposed to do for you when you deliver a baby. So, we became family.

God blessed me in so many ways throughout the day. Amy (the social worker) did an AMAZING job of being there for me as well as being there for T. She is a social work genius. My kids were patient. My mom was a champ. A friend (who I have never met)'s mom (who I have also never met) came and brought me a muffin and sat in the waiting room and chatted with me for a while. I got sweet text messages throughout the day from friends and family encouraging me and praying for all of us. God literally showed off ALL DAY.

T labored through the day, slowly but surely. I finally left in the afternoon, to go back to the hotel and get the kids and my mom so they could be there for the big moment!

They were so patient as I tried to split my time in the waiting room making sure they were happy, and in the the room with T to make sure all was well. Around 7pm it was finally GO TIME. T made it clear that she wanted me to stay in the room with her while she delivered Jojo, and I was honored. I was able to pray with her right before the staff flooded into the room for the delivery. We took deep breaths, pushed, and counted to 10 and did it again and again until sweet Josiah made his way into the world!

The moment he was born, I literally fell into T and we hugged and we both cried. The feeling of gratitude to her, gratefulness to God for a safe delivery, and awe that I was standing right where God wanted me was overwhelming.

June 20 7:22pm 5lbs 4oz 18.25 inches

This is T and I moments after Josiah was born. I blurred her face just for her privacy, but you may still be able to tell that we sort of look alike. God is surely in the details!

Josiah was taken off to the nursery about 30 minutes later to be evaluated and checked from head to toe. We all had a chance to go back to the nursery for a quick first peek and then we headed back to the hotel so the kids and Emmy could get some rest. I promised T that I would get her what ever she wanted for dinner, so I headed back up to the hospital (with a very insistent Ella Mae) and had a chance to give Jojo his very first bottle.

I laid my pillow on my head that night knowing that Gods plan for me had played out before my eyes all day long......but of course the adventure of TRUSTING GOD with ALL the details had only just begun.

{part 2- "The NICU" coming soon!}

blessings!

jennymo

Welcome to the world Jojo!

It was brought to my attention today, that I have not updated my blog since Jojo was born! There is SO MUCH to say. SO MANY details that God lined up perfectly to bring our family together. But, we are still in Texas, and I don't think I can process it all until we are all home and back to "normal". So for now, here are some pictures!!

On June 19th, we found out our baby was about to be born, so we packed up and headed to Texas!

At 7:22 pm on June 20th, Josiah Harrison Clark made his debut!

5 lbs 4 oz 18 1/4 inches long

And 48 hours later he was officially OURS!

Meeting his big brother, big sister and his Emmy....

He had to spend 2 weeks in the NICU nursery because he just couldn't seem to get the hang of breathing, swallowing and sucking all at the same time......

My sweet friend Tesney and her kids Clayton and Kirill drove all the way from Alabama to hang out with us!

And after a LONG 2 weeks, he got the hang of things and on July 5th we got to bring him to our Texas home!

We have had a GREAT time with our Texas family (Joey, Lisa, Ace & Archie) and feel so very blessed!

Lisa, and her kids Ace and Archie

Now we are just hanging out and waiting to be cleared to go home! Jojo has a check up tomorrow with the Pediatrician, and then once we get clearance to cross State lines with him we will be heading back HOME!

We CANNOT thank you enough for all of your prayers and support on this journey!



 Blessings from our family of FOUR!

{p.s. you can still donate to help us with our agency/court fees! see my previous blog post for the specifics}

Update! Oh my goodness....OH MY GOODNESS!!!!

• Aidan and Ella Mae's Super Awesomest Extraordinary Lemonade and Art Sale was a HUGE success! Never in my WILDEST dreams would I have thought my kids would come up with this idea, and God would bless us with OVER two THOUSAND dollars!

          It was truly a blessing {albeit a hot, sweaty, sunburned blessing} to spend the entire day in our front yard visiting with friends who came to support us. I was able to tell little snippets of our story to random neighbors I have never met. Some told their own adoption stories. One lady gave us $5 for some lemonade and a cookie and wished us well. A couple of hours later she walked back to our house, handed me $60 and simply said "I just felt led to give you more". Amazing.

• I am officially paperwork approved! Home study DONE. File with agency DONE. I CANNOT express to you how awesome this feels! Who says single people can't adopt!?!? : - )

• I applied for an adoption grant with Lifesong for Orphans through our church. I was told that the process usually takes about 10 weeks after your application is complete and they receive your home study. Since I did not have that much time, I really wasn't counting on it coming through in time .......BUT GOD! They called me last week and I am approved for the grant! So.....I need to raise about $1,000 more {in addition to what I have}and I will get the grant! WHAT A BLESSING.

• Some of you may know that I had not heard from my birth mom in about a month. Needless to say, this was STRESSING ME OUT. Big time. So many things that could go wrong and I have been a nervous wreck. BUT GOD....

          She called me today.

First time I have heard her voice. 

She had an appointment today, and little Jojo is looking a little on the small side. This is not a surprise to me since babies with Down syndrome are often born a little small. She is going to have an ultra sound in the morning, and if they think he is not getting any bigger they may go ahead and put her in the hospital tomorrow night.....and induce her THURSDAY MORNING.

Like as in day after tomorrow Thursday!

I simply feel gratitude right now. I have just been begging God to let me HEAR from her and TRUST Him with the rest. And, as always, He has proved Himself faithful!

So whether it goes down Thursday or in a couple more weeks, I can tell you this: My Jehovah-Jireh has GOT THIS.

• Speaking of my PROVIDER.....HE has shown off with this adoption. I mean seriously. All I need is a little over $1,000 and I am FUNDED. Done. WOW. So, if you had planned on pitching in and haven't done so yet NOW would be a great time! Details are below!

Aidan, Ella Mae and I cannot even fully express how grateful we are to all of you who have helped us out so far! We are at the finish line to bring Jojo HOME! We covet your prayers and appreciate you all so much!

Blessings!!!

jennymo, aidan, ella mae and soon to be jojo 

TO DONATE:

 {all donations previously made through Project Hopeful are still tax deductible and will still be used!}

1. Go to the Lifesong for Orphans donation page here. 
2. Fill in the required info (they won't spam you promise)
3. "Gift Preference" should be "Adoption Funding" and "Adoption Gift Preference" should be "Family Specific"
4. "Family Account #" is 3762 and "Family Name" is Clark

Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization.

Oh boy! We have a name!

I got the call as I sat in carpool line on April 15th. The birth mom said "I choose Jenny, Aidan and Ella Mae to raise my baby". Shock. Tears. Joy.

The kids hopped in the car before the reality had even set in. Ella Mae opened the door and I screamed at her "She chose us! The birth mom chose US! We are getting a baby!!!!" She immediately started to happy cry. I love that she does that. Aidan was in shock and squealing with happiness.

Before we even got home, Ella Mae was staring out the window and said "we should name him Josiah". "Where did that name come from?" was my response. It was random. She said "I don't know....I think there is a kid at my school named Josiah".

The first thing I do with baby names is think of what sort of crazy nicknames kids could come up with at school to terrorize my child. I don't know why I do that...........

Josiah
Joe
Siah
Si
Jojo

Jojo.....the memories came back like a flood......and then God made it clear why this would be his name. 

This is a picture of my sweet friend Deb {the one I went to Africa with} holding Jojo. Jojo had Down syndrome and he was being cared for by our friends at Ekisa {the orphanage for children with special needs that Deb and I visited in December}. Unfortunately for us here on earth, Jesus took Jojo home to be with Him last year. {you can read a little tribute to Jojo here}.

I remember hearing about him. I remember wishing for a family for him. But, sometimes things just don't work out how we think they should on this earth.....and we must TRUST that God's plan is better than ours! 

So, in honor of Jojo, 

and so many like him 

who never had the chance 

to be in a family here on this earth, 

we will be naming our baby 

Josiah Harrison Clark....

and we will call him Jojo!

Josiah had already been agreed upon by the kids and I when I found out that the literal translation from the Hebrew is "Yahweh supports" or "Yahweh heals". Wow. I needed that affirmation! 

Harrison was my grandfathers middle name. I never had the opportunity to meet him because Jesus took him home when my mom was young. BUT, he and my grandmother CHOSE my mom. They adopted her. So we will honor them in this way.....amazing how things come full circle!

We have been so blessed already on this journey! There are a few random items that we still need but more than anything we need:

1. Prayers
2. Funds

As I have said before, I have NO DOUBT that GOD will provide every single dime we need to bring this little guy home. We would be honored if you would become part of our little family in this way! We have already raised almost 1/4 of the money we need and every little bit helps!!

If you would like to make a tax deductible donation to our adoption fund, we would be honored. Click here to go directly to paypal {if for some reason the link doesn't work, go to projecthopeful.org and click "matched families" under the "adopt" dropdown menu}. You can also make a check out to Project HOPEFUL and mail it to me at 6166 Eagle Point Circle Birmingham, AL  35242.

Blessings!

jennymo, Aidan and Ella Mae...and soon to be Jojo : - )

Now why this fear?

Now why this fear and unbelief?
Has not the Father put to grief
His spotless Son for us?
And will the righteous Judge of men
Condemn me for that debt of sin
Now canceled at the cross?

This song struck me to the core in worship on Sunday. I have to confess:

I. Am. Afraid.

I am a do-er. List maker. Give me things to do and I will get them did. But, now that most of my paperwork is done..... the room is ready......the necessities are all in place.....all that is left to do is wait. Wait on the Lord for the funds needed (which I have no doubt whatsoever that He will provide) and wait for the baby to be born. I am not a good wait-er.

Complete atonement You have made
And by Your death have fully paid
The debt Your people owe.
No wrath remains for us to face
We’re sheltered by Your saving grace
And sprinkled with Your blood

What if something happens to the baby? What if he is sick when he is born? What if he needs surgery? What if he has to stay in the hospital for an extended amount of time?

How sweet the sound of saving grace
How sweet the sound of saving grace
Christ died for me 

What if she changes her mind?

Be still my soul and know this peace
The merits of your great high priest
Have bought your liberty
Rely then on His precious blood
Don’t fear your banishment from God
Since Jesus sets you free 

The news is "out there" and soon his name will be announced. : - ) It is real. This is happening.

People see me and think I have it all together. I don't. People think adoption isn't hard. It is.

Because it is all about TRUST. Not trust in me or my abilities. Not trust in her. Not trust in my plans. Trust in MY FATHER who adopted me. Redeemed me. Purposed me for such a time as this. Lord, help me to trust YOU!

Jesus, all my trust is in Your blood
Jesus, You’ve rescued us
Through Your great love 

Please be praying for us while we wait!

jennymo

{If you want to donate to our adoption fund, you can make a tax deductible donation via Paypal here, or you are welcome to mail a check, made out to Project Hopeful to us at 6166 Eagle Point Circle Birmingham, AL  35242}

My review of the docmentary film STUCK....and who is to blame.

(I meant to write this post soon after seeing the STUCK premiere...however, April 15th happened to also be the day I got the call that a birth mom had chosen US! You can read all about that here if you like)

As I sat on the STUCK tour bus on April 15th speaking with Craig Juntunen (Executive Producer) I had the uncanny feeling that something was missing from this picture. And then like a wave it hit me.

I had made the incorrect assumption that any documentary film about children needing families would be motivated, at least to some degree, by a love for the Lord and a desire to be obedient to Him in caring for the orphan. But this was not the case. I quickly became aware that this movement sweeping the nation was very simply an effort to get the masses fired up about the politics behind International adoption, and get Washington's attention in hopes that the way things are would eventually turn into the way they think things should be.

I became increasingly uncomfortable throughout the 1 and 1/2 hour long film as each and every person on the screen opened their mouths and never, never, never, never did one person utter the words

Jesus
God
Church
Bible

I was uncomfortable, not because the film was inappropriate or entirely wrong, but because I felt as if I was watching someone else do my job....

.....and God was watching me watch someone else do my job.

Like a mother standing in a room watching while someone else comforts their crying child.
Like a father watching a stranger teaching his son how to ride a bike.

Like the Church, watching the world do our job. 

And we wonder why people call us hypocrites.

There are many issues with the way International adoptions work in this country. Do we need better oversight of our US adoption agencies. Oh yes. Do we need to improve the way the Hague Convention operates? Yep. Do children all over the world deserve to be in families rather than stuck in orphanages and institutions? Of course. But guess what friends? We can make legislation and perfect the process until we are all in happy agreement, but unless more Christian families STEP UP to ransom these children, what will be the point?

This is the part of the program where most Christians start to zone out with the "I am just not called" excuses. Let me just say this: We need more Christian families to step up for the orphan, but not every Christian family should adopt. If you give God the blank check with your life and your family and He doesn't lead you to adoption, then support someone He does lead. Same thing with International missions. You can either be a zealous go-er, a zealous sender, or disobedient (stole that from John Piper). Just DO SOMETHING.

We have many, many problems in this broken world friends. One of them is the millions of people who have not been reached with the Gospel. Another one is the people who have been reached, who claim Christ but only offer Him lip service instead of their lives.

50 years from now people will look back on today and they will think:

Adoption: Humane Society
Orphans: Brad & Angelina
AIDS: Bono
Poor: Government Welfare


What will they say the Church did?

What will they say you did?

Did you coast it out in your comfortable life, giving the bare minimum required to be able to keep your Christian club membership card? Did you warm a pew once a week and write a check, most of which will ultimately cycle back to serve you. Or, did you realize that your life is not your life at all. That we are here merely to bring Glory to our Father and serve Him alone while we are on this earth.

Ultimately, without the power of the Gospel this will simply be another movement. And, without Jesus himself coming back, nothing on this earth will truly ever be made right. We live in a fallen world and until He returns that will remain the case. But in the meantime, He left us with work to do.

And CHURCH, we are not doing our job.